Laughing out loud

It feels so good to be laughing out loud again

1.

I'm not a Family Guy Fan but I think I woke my neighbours up last night as I fell off my bed. It's peanut butter jelly time! I think I've played it something like 28 times.. it never gets old. I want a banana suit. And maracas.

2.
So there's this guy, we'll call him Diadora because he's something like an unwanted shoe, and he's sweet on my friend St Mary, all week long he's been helping her move and whatever and I think that he thinks that this will help him to get her in good graces. Hmm.
Ordinarily if I see someone struggling like that, I'll help them out a little bit.. I'm the all-purpose wingwoman, but since I'm not fond of the guy I've kinda stepped back and let him muddle it out himself. And he's about as smooth as a dirt gravel road in the middle of another dirt gravel road. James Bond isn't taking tips. So we're all tired and they're standing there and I'm sitting in the passenger seat, when he tries to pull a move [..now? really?]- he tries to put his hand on her neck. In the dark. Out of nowhere. Of course, she doesn't know what he's doing and she shrieks like a madwoman. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

An ordinary person would say "oh, just giving you a massage. I know you're stressed." or "Bug!" instead he answers ..
"I'm uhhhh.. just trying to choke you for making me move your stuff." Good save right? Auto-erotic asphyxiation! What every girl is looking for.
She just kind of looks at him, I can't really describe the look but we'll call it an-are-you-kidding-me? And I start to yelp with laughter, I know it's mean but I can't help it. The poor boy really has no idea.

3. No-one sends me penis jokes anymore. I really appreciate a good penis joke sometimes.
So I'm msging Matty's friend Seijai on my bb during breakfast and he's sending me random mms's for fun.
Seijai: This one's for Matty [poses like a Japanese schoolgirl]
Mush: He asks why you think he wants to see that.
Seijai: Was gonna unzip my pants but its quite warm 2day .. my fone camera doesn't have panoramic
Mush: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. *breathes. AHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Matty is looking at me in alarm and then turns suspicious
Matty: What is he saying?
Mush: [smiling] nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.