Thursday, December 01, 2005

December 2005-January 2006



Blub blub
Monday, January the 29th 2006 00:49 Mood: Better not great.

Happy Chinese New Year Folks.
Before we embark on a brand new year we must first erase all the bad luck from the previous one.
As my mum says if something bad happens and you survive it, then then amount of bad luck that you will have later is lessened. Essentially fortune is a cookie jar..

I almost died yesterday. I was taken out by a rip and my feet couldn't find the ground. Needless to say, I was terrified. People say that in the event of a dangerous current, don't struggle- just keep calm and it will push you back to shore. Those people are wrong. With every shove of the wave I was getting further and further away from the shore. Time to panic. Books and movies will tell you that when you're about to die, you think about life and loved ones, all I could think was pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. So yeah they lied too.
Rightie dragged me out, [not easy mind you] and for the experience I have a cut on my nose and twenty fours of aftershocks. So there you have it, you almost lost me and I can't figure out how to deal with it.

Fools not so much in love
Thursday, January the 26th 2006 23:53 Mood: Wrought

Happy Australia Day People.
Celebrate the birth of your country by gambling away your livelihood at the casino. Yeah.

Fighting with SB [again]
SB: I'm beginning to think we're two different people Mish.
Me: [angrily] you're only just figuring that out now?!

Because you're on the other side of the world to me.

We're in the money!
Wednesday, January the 18th 2006 22:41 Mood: Odd

Four years of scratchie buying, and it finally paid off! Well ok five hundred dollars isn't going to buy me a ferrari. But its a nice little shopping spree [amazing how much life picks up when you're not working!]


Okay, not so much.. drivers seat
Tuesday, January the 17th 2006 01:41 Mood: Freaking miserable

""And you are such a fool
to worry like you do"
-U2, Stuck in a moment

Most of my problems would be solved if I would just grow a backbone and tell people to fuck the hell off. What do I do in the absence of one?

In the drivers seat!
Thursday, January the 12th 2006 21:46 Mood: Awake

So guess who got her P's! You're right!
[My knees somewhat buckled and I was hyperventilating during the exam but I passed!]

So what do you think I should do for my birthday?


Who cares?
Tuesday, January the 10th 2006, 22:34 Mood: EBTG- Sexy

It's just a driving test. Its nothing. Hell, you may even pass. Ick.

You've come a long way baby
Friday, January the 6th 2006, 23:32 Mood: Ticklish

I used to be a much nicer person.

Customer: Can I get a coffee?
[This involves me walking the fifty metres to the bar, pushing a trolley full of soft drinks there and back]
Me: [unenthusiastically] sure
[rolls back with the coffee and the trolley]
Customer: Thank you! You're such a wonderful person! God bless you!
Me: :thought bubble: I don't care! Where's my tip???!

Its a New Year
Wednesday, January the 4th 16:16 Mood: Achey.

Alright I updated about ten minutes ago, but geocities was being a bastard. An unloved bastard.
And I'm reallllly siiiiick :whine: so bear with me.

Christmas: Christmas was spent at my Aunty Helene's house. Oysters, salmon, long games of monopoly and one vicious little puppy [Hi Minnie].But above all that, this was the year where I finally figured out who and where I want to spend my christmases with. My family. There. It took me give or take eight years to figure that out. I'm a little slow. Don't mind me while I dissolve into sentimental mush [or phleghm. Hackkk]
I was considering an overseas migration, I might've changed my mind. And the booty?? Less than last year! :waves fists angrily in the air: As Pho said to me wouldn't you like one big gift as opposed to twenty small gifts?? I couldn't even dignify that with a response. [Well okay, I did I gave her an emphatic "NO"]

New years: New years? New years was well.. the less said about that the better I think. Firstly I was working..[fine that was unavoidable] and I was sick [also somewhat unavoidable] and then I spent it at Baphomet's place. The things I do for SB, a lack of midnight kiss, alcohol and big ass roaches roaming the place like they owned it [insert Baphomet rental joke here] Rowwr, rowwr, next year I will get my kiss!

Recap of 2005: [Sigh.. here goes]
Anybody whos been reading this blog knows that I had a really hard time with 2005, that there were many times that I just didn't want to get out of bed, couldn't see my way out of the haze [tm Steven Tyler] but I'm still amazingly alive and well not exactly sitting pretty, but at least I'm sitting.
Some of this is due to SB, but a lot of it is due to Minnie who made me get out of bed on days that were endless tears and recriminations.

Strangely, the beginning of 2005 started off beautifully.

And the other thing of the year? Star City. Oi. Rude customers, bitchy staff and hygiene standards that.. that.. lets just say I will never eat garnishes from any other F&B outlet ever [especially lemons]

Um, positive things about 2005: Belgian food, Getting trashed with good friends [numerous times], getting over my body issues and finally baring my arms, Minnie [of course], the money that comes from my sucky job[a real positive!, concert tickets!], a nice little trip tp the Blue Mountains, going to the beach for the first time in years and finally coming to terms with my family. But thank God its over, I thought that it would never end.


Its a little tickle in the back of the throat
Saturday, Decmber 24th 01:29 Mood:Perplexed

So Its Christmas Eve, and guess what that means? All night shopping! Except not. Worn down by eight hours of serving [me] and eight hours of nursing [him], we got in and in give or take an hour and a half, we were done. No more. We're getting really really old, it wasn't even midnight! Bleah.
On the plus side however I got new shoes [well ok, replacements for the pair Minnie chewed up but still, new shoes]

So I got home and started flicking through my mum's trashbag magazines and came to an article "I love my husband more than my children", The writer is a woman named Ayelet something something [married to that f*cking sucky writer Michael Chabon of Kavalier and Klay fame] and in it she details how much she loves her husband more than her kids, he is her "sun" and "her obsession". She professes only her unending devotion to him.
I think you get the point. Husband: 1 Children: 0
After reading it, I was sitting on perplexed [and freaking irritated] maybe I was tired, but I couldn't figure out what bothered me so much about it.

Answer: I'll tell you tomorrow.. [Deep breath people]

Guess who got tickets?!!
Wednesday, December 14th 12:29 Mood: Ruff

Seven hours of waiting, collectively online, on the phone and in line. I have tickets to the 2006 U2 concert!! Scream for me baby!!







Relaxation for beginners
Thursday, December 8th 11:56 Mood: Toired

[Or how SB and Mish went up to the mountains and failed to stress less]
HoHoHo.. So we went up to the Blue Mountains to a "couple's retreat" [God, how old are we??] to get away from work, families and a little dog named Minnie for a few days, we thought that once we got up there, we'd automatically lose all our insane Sydneysider habits and just relax. We didn't. Well, not really. I think SB was dying to beep the farmer drivers.
SB: Why can't they drive faster?! Rowrr!

In some ways I was worse, because people you can somewhat control, nature you cannot. Me? I had the brilliant idea that we should get up and watch the sunrise [after reading the guestbook of which Silly guest #256 wrote: We would like in-house porn and more pillows.. you should give the maid a raise for ignoring our toys] I digress, so we got up early to watch the sunrise.. but little did we know we were watching it from the wrong direction, so we waited and waited..
M: Whats wrong with the sun? Why can't it come up faster?!! Faster damnit!
SB: [pause] its the Sun, Mish.

And of course, our city slicker ways got in the way of imaginary childhood fantasies. Like animals. They should look like the animals in cartoons [or at least vaguely resemble them]. They don't.
M: Omg! Its a cow! Pull over and let me pat it!
[SB pulls over, Mish gets out, Cow is terrified turns tail and runs. Mish tries again with a braver cow and armed with a camera goes to the cow. Mish stands horrified for a few minutes]
SB: So did you take the picture?
M: No! It was gross! it had flies all over its face and goop everywhere!
SB: Err.. you were expecting it...
M: To be clean!
SB: The farmer isn't going to wash its face.
M: If I was a farmer, I would!

And more animal fantasies ruined.
[SB driving down a country road]
M: What was that?? Was that a turtle??
SB: I think so
M: Stop! We have to save it [it was in the middle of the road or crossing it]
[Mish gets out and gingerly looks at the turtle, which is a revolting crushed vomit colour and no visible anything- except sharp black claws]
M: Err.. babe, you do it.
SB: You want me to do it?
[SB then proceeds to [gingerly] pick up the turtle . When the turtle starts squirting water everywhere.]
SB: Ack! Ack! The turtle tried to poison me!
SB then drops/hurls the turtle with a big clunk.
Turtle: Clunk. [mumbles] City fuckers.

SB: It tried to poison me!
M: Turtle don't haaave poison.
SB: Well then it tried to pee on me!
[With some more coaxing from Mish, SB picks up the turtle and transports it to the grass, whereby it squirts even more water]

And then sometime in the midafternoon SB and I sat on the dock drinking beer, absorbng sun and listening to nohing but nothing, and it was nice, it was really quite nice.



Waaaaaaah.
Monday December 5th 00:53 Mood; Nervous

Greedy greedy., I already have Coldplay tickets [in Melbourne for Gods sack] and now I'm itchy to covet the U2 concert as well. Tomorrow. 9am. People are lining up already. Waaaah, please let me get those tickets~ [I'm sure if I'm on here in jubilation in the morning, you'll know I got them....]

So you think you can tell heaven from hell?
Sunday December 4th, 01:45 Mood: Subdued

So when I'm slack, I'm slack. I'm feeling slack. Nyeah

Saturday, October 01, 2005

October-November 2005

Dance like you never danced before
Thursday, November 24th 00:25 Mood:
Another first. My first dance lesson [well okay, no not really, I had ballet lessons when I was three]. Revelation time: I cannot dance, unless randomly flinging your hands and feet everywhere is considered dancing. I was mighty glad to be standing at the back! I was really hoping to be the next [clean] Britney Spears.

The luckiest
Thursday, November 17th 21:25 Mood: A crime-fighting-vampire-dog

M: Are you thirsty? Let's go out and buy juice!
SB: I'm not thirsty
M: I'm sure you are. Let's go.
SB: You go. How long will you take?
M: Half an hour
SB: Half an hour?! Are you just buying juice?!
M: Yes. Are you coming?
SB: Huh..
[SB and M shuffle off to the mall]
SB: They don't sell juice in Myer.
M: They don't? Oh this is just.. a ... quick detour...
SB: Admit it, you just wanted to go shopping
M: I'm sure they sell juice in this shoe store.. let me just check okay?

The first time..
Wednesday, November 9th 21:34 Mood: Strangely elated

Theres always a first time for everything, today was the first time that I fainted and not to be a melodramatic drama queen.. but it was kind of fun.

Amsterdam
Monday, November 7th 19:35 Mood: Allergic

"Come on, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
I swear I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole

But time is on your side
It's on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
It's no cause for concern."
-Coldplay, Amsterdam.

A wise man once told me...
Monday, November 7th, 00:02 Mood: Hammy

A wise man/boy once told me "If you look at Star City from an aerial view, you'll see that it resembles a cage. Its a feng shui thing, The idea is to lock the customers in symbolically so they don't come out"
I wonder if that extends to cocktailservers/waitresses. I can feel the casino sucking out a piece of my soul bit by bit, vampire style.

It's a bra day.
Thursday, November 3rd, 21:23 Mood: Mirthful

I walked into Grace Brothers today to purchase some new bra sets
[ I think someone is making off with them, buy your own underwear people!] and as I finished my purchase and was heading out to do some more good old fashioned shopping, when the buzzer sounded.
Mrmph!Mrmph!
Of course, I hadn't been shoplifting [look at my face! so open and innocent!] so I went back in and waited for a security guard to check me out, a nice saleslady trying to be helpful said "it's probably just the tags". Wait! I'm getting to the hilariously embarrassing bit! She then proceeded to take out each bra out of the bag and fling it past the scanners to see which one was tagged. Yes, the lady was waving my bras in the public entrance of Grace Brothers, to the befuddlement of shoppers walking by and to the increasing hilarity of myself. Finally she found the untagged item and turned to me sheepishly "Sorry about that". Nooooo problem.

These boots were made for walking
Thursday, October 27th, 21:48 Mood: Thats just what they'll do

I should be doing a happy dance to celebrate Coldplay in Melbourne, but instead I'm thinking about using my feet [no new shoes!] to kick SB's butt

...
Sunday, October 18th, 00:12 Mood:..
Wahahaha! Ok never mind, there was supposed to be a pic of a guinea pig with a leaf covering its nether regions. But for some reason it won't load.. so you'll just have to imagine the interesting image. [it has its legs spread]

Also me, a bit drunk. Bleh,.


Wanker 1 vs Wanker 2. Fight!
Thursday, October 13th, 15:13 Mood: So yesterday

Wanker 1:
Wanker 1[inebriated and slurry]
Me: umm... sir, I think you've had a little too much so I'm going to have to slow you down, I'm not going to bring you another one for a while.
Wanker 1: what?
Me: I have to slow you down. Its policy.
Wanker 1[getting a grasp on it]; Do you know what its like to be living your life under other peoples insecurities?
Me: errrrr.. I guess so.... :lightbulb flash: wait. what are you accusing me of??! are you saying I'm powertripping??
Wanker 1: I'm not saying you're power tripping I know you're powertripping.
Me: [mumbles] motherfuckerihopeyouchokeonyourtongueandwhileyou're
chokingihopeacarrunsyouoversothatthetongueispermamnently
embeddedinyoureardum.

Wanker 2:
Wanker 2:.A baileys on the rocks and a vodka and lime
Me: Here you go.
Wanker 2: This here is a baileys?
Me: Yes.
Wanker 2: This is thirty mls?
Me: Yes
Wanker 2: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I poured it, from a shot glass
Wanker 2: It doesn't look like it
Me: [starting to grind holes in my molars]
Wanker 2: Give me a shot glass.
Me: [disbelievingly gives him a shot glass]
Wanker 2 then proceeds to pour the entire cup into ths shotglass, spilling Baileys and ice all over the counter.
Wanker 2: Its right. [then pours it back into the glass and makes a bigger mess, halfheartedly dabbing with a tissue
...walks off]
Me: [going into trandescental meditation period, because otherwise I'll leap over the counter and use his face to wipe the floor, also am in dire need of a dentist appointment from grinding my teeth into dust]

Winner: Wanker 2, but geez it was almost too close to call.

Past, present and future.
Tuesday, 2nd Oct, 6:23 Mood: Contemplative

Lately Silly Boy and I have been fighting all the time. Its getting to the point where I don't want to do this anymore. I get enough shite from work.. do I really need it at home? It feels like four and a half years being poured down a drain, so for a while we're taking a break. I can see it as being something more permanent. Its too exhausting trying to keep the peace all the time. I love him but I need a rest. Maybe we're just not good for each other?

In other news, a supervisor from work, we'll call him Chilli guy is somewhat wooing me, well woo in the sense that he bought me a packet of Starburst [in return for a couple of minties] and asked for my number. He just seems ... so.. simple, he doesn't seem to be crushed under the burden of any problems, he's all sunniness and light [and devastatingly flirtatious. Warning. Mish].To be honest all I really do want is a happy face and reciprocal lollies. I dunno maybe I'll take him up on his offer one day. On the other hand, its a packet of lollies.. can I be bought anymore cheaply?? [answer:no]

And onto Sesame, who is yet to disappear from my life and completing this very interesting circle of past,present and [possibly] future men.What a karmic world we live in.

Monday, August 01, 2005

August-September 2005


Pointless Gossip
Thursday, September 29th 1:00 Mood: Blind

I heard from a workmate that freak faced monster overdosed on X last week and had to be taken to hospital. However she turned up to work just fine.

That'll teach me to listen to everybody that sends a tidbit my way.

The future of Mish.
Saturday, September 24th, 1:17 Mood: Thoughtful
Yes, I've been gone for a while, trying to juggle school, work and my ever increasingly zombie-like dog. Sometimes I think I'm so tired that I want to just sleep and sleep and never get up, but of course that won't happen because I'm so easily bored!
Life is turning into a series of momentous decisions.
Mortgage or holiday?
Quit or stay? [I do need the money, but wheres my dignity??]
Train Minnie or don't train Minnie?
Rent or live with my P's?
Study childcare or continue with journalism?

At least Sesame has disappeared from my life again. Phew. I just need to sleep and watch dodgy videos for the next two days and I should be right.


It's unhealthy
Friday, September 14th 23:46 Mood: House doesn't make a home

I haven't rumified on fate a lot lately. This year I've tried not to question on the order of things, from my experience if you analyse things too much and you still don't get an answer, its likely to drive you a bit mental. Breathe Mish, let go. Two nights ago, Sesame walked back into my life, I was sitting on the lightrail and looked up and there he was. Thus commencing the most awkward five seconds in the history of man. I flicked my ID at him and pretended to be engrossed in my sudoku puzzle [Was I cool and collected? I like to think so, however the crossouts and mistakes beg to differ] His ID checking was lacking due to his backing off in the other direction at roadrunner speed. And again with the same thing last night. Only he didn't check anything at all, haha, the way to get free transport? Get exromantically involved with a ticket collector. My sudoku booklet is suffering the weight of my distraction.

Lets be frank, I've been thinking incessantly about him for the last few days, I'm having imaginary conversations with him in my head, I have planned responses to every possible thing that could be said. I'm obsessed and I don't know why. It's unhealthy. And the thing is I don't even want to date him! I don't know what the heck I want. Rowwr. Why did he have to walk back in my life now and give me a headache? Admittedly we have some "yuen fun", but ..but... but...

Don't get me wrong, I love Sillyboy to death and he's not going anywhere, this is just some bizaare infatuation/cosmic joke which I have to shake off. Shake it off. Shake it off.

Rmmph
Thursday, September 8th1:14 Mood: See yesterday

"They're underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them" -Barbara Bush [about Hurricane Katrina, in case you've been living under a rock.].

WAHAHahahahHa.. forgive me for being callous, but this just about made me fall off my chair. This sentence is so absurd and silly and just so unexpected that it tickled me. Of course, I do assume that no-one in New Orleans [or close by] finds this even remotely funny. But thats okay. If you don't laugh, you cry.

So Thanks a lot
Wednesday, September 7th, 9:27 Mood: Frail


So here are the words that I thought I'd never hear, because truly I don't get embroiled in personal battles or domestic violence. But this is straight out of a midday movie with Tori Spelling. Or my life.

"You don't get to leave! You only leave when I tell you to leave!"

So thanks Sarah, you're currently sitting in the coveted position of worst supervisor of the year. It was stiff competition for a bit but you did it in the space of 2 minutes. Congratulations.

Lets talk politics
Wednesday, August 31st Mood: My arm hurts. Waah.

I think this whole John Brgoden affair has been blown way out of proportion. Yes I don't condone bum pinching [of journalists, no less] and I' m not keen on the remark "mail-order bride", but haven't there much worse things to come out of modern politics lately?? outright lying [Howard], corruption [Tripoli/Yang], negligence, [Vanstone.. petrol baths anyone? Cornelia Rau? Why is this woman still around?!] covert racism [Bishop/Rudd]. Modern politics is a hypocritical mess,, I agree with one reporter who said that he didn't have enough chutzpah to pull it off. He didn't, he should have just ridden it through and people would have forgotten in two weeks, people always do. But for some reason, he didn't let it blow over and he resigned. The media went insane. Dishonorable. Racist. Sleazy. Boozy. They went for his head and they got it. Last night John Brogden tried to take his own life. Was he really ready to leave his wife and children? Maybe in a moment of darkness he couldn't see clearly and it seemed to be his best option, who knows what kind of pressure hes under? Only himself. The Daily Telegraph is doing its best to milk the whole story, as if they haven't sold enough papers from it.. Leave the man alone. You've done enough.

Embarrasssssing.Wednesday, August 31st, 00:24 Mood: Bloody

I have a confession to make. I read V.C.Andrews novels for fun. Its not something I'm proud of. Now let us never speak of this again.

Speaking of drunken debauchery...
Monday, August 29th, 17:48 Mood: Mirthy

John Brogden, why are you running around pinching bums?

Its like that
Sunday, August 28th, 23:11 Mood: Wide eyed and awake

Life is funny, for six months the mobile gathers dust and you cry in your sleep. And then all of a sudden its a momentous pour, you're all of a sudden in demand, you can't stop going out. You don't even have enough time to stuff all the people into your day, Your boy starts complaining you don't have enough time for him. And you want to shout at people "Where the fuck were you when I needed you?!"

So I've been going out and throwing myself head first into drunken debauchery. It still beats the hell out of crying into my pillow.

Feeling bad? Get drunk.
Monday, August 22nd, 14:18 Mood: Pressed for time

I bet you thought I had an aneurysym there for a moment. My head exploded and then it was the end. RIP Mish.
Nope, I went out and did the smart thing, the smart thing which was to go out and get completely wasted. Yay for alcohol and good friends!
So it started with lemon soju and korean food. Let me tell you something about lemon soju, lemon soju is like an extremely charming guy, you will be sucker punched. After two pots [and these were tiny kettle pots not actual jugs, mind you] we were red faced and giggling, and I say this as girl who can drink people under the table. That stuff was strong, and we spent a good hour and a half gossiping about absolutely nothing. Thats right! The girl at the table behind us had horrific hair so we spent a good five or so minutes paying her out but other than that, its the life I tell you [alright fine, I hardly remember any of the conversation other than CSgirl saying "Re-hea-hea-ea-ea-ea-lly??" It looks funnier in person. Anyway.]

Afterwards, after waking up Saffrons entire building with our hysterics, it was off to dancing! Except as dancing goes, there really wasn't much, probably because the DJ wasn't playing any music, oh okay, fine he was playing music, it just wasn't music you could dance to, the entire set was rap! How you dance to people talking I'll never know, but I didn't.. sooo..however the DJ was good for one thing and that was he set up this particularly classic quote which I'll use for the rest of my life. [or for the rest of the month] halfway through the "song", he stopped the music.

DJ: I have a particular request tonight. That is to tell all of you.
Peter loves Mei-Lin! [pause] Fuck you!

And then he started playing the music. I had to sit down because my stomach hurt so much.
The rest of the night was a guy-oriented one, we were reeling them in. Too bad they weren't particularly George Clooney-ish [I'm supposing that all the George Clooney lookalikes had headed home and were bedding people left right and centre, instead of hanging out at Sharks at four in the morning. Hmm]

On my way to the train station [walk of shame!] I bumped into my baby cousin who was going home from a pub crawl. You don't feel old until you realise your baby cousin is going home from a pub crawl. Gahh.

This year is heading into minus numbers
Friday, August 17th, 00:26 Mood: Wouldn't it be nice?

Geez, you decide not to post for a bit and two weeks walks away. Its no secret that I've disliked this year. I've loathed it, despised it and if it was tangible I would probably spit on it.
I thought this year would get better after I got a job. Less time spent dwelling, and more time doing other things[ like not dwelling]. Silly me. Once again, SILLY ME.. I have spent the last month being abused, being lied to, being backstabbed [ya wanna stab? stab from the front] being criticised and just all round being a fricking hand maid all in the name of customer service. Its just not mentally healthy to want to thump everyone with your shoe, its equally not healthy to start developing murderous glints in your eyes and my teeth cannot take anymore grinding, they are being ground into husks.

Stir your own fricking drink.
When I say soft drink. I mean soft drink, not milk, not tea, not water, not bourbon.
Put your own damn sugar in your own damn coffee, I'm sure you have hands. I'm holding a tray with nine other drinks on it, you inconsiderate piece of crap.
Stop asking me for water, you godforsaken morons, if you're too cheap to order anything else, you shouldn't be in a casino.
There is no such thing as Tooheys black. I told you.
Don't ask for hot chocolate if you want to lose weight
When you run into someone. Apologise.. Manners? What the hell have your parents been teaching you in the course of your miserable life???!
I'm not a fucking deer tracker, I don't know where you are once you've moved tables.
And thats just the customers, I haven't even started bitching about the @#$@$$* staff yet. [backstabbing sonnuva....]

I'm putting up with this for money and its not even good money. Sigh. The things we do. On the plus side I know how to make a good coffee now.

I have a friend Ology, who's really sick at the moment and I worry about her a lot, but then I worry about everybody a lot lately because I simply don't have enough time to catch up with them. I haven't even seen Alpha Beta since her wedding. When something like this happens it reminds you how faraway people are, I think that if I hadn't made that space to call her I never would have known and what kind of friend would I be?
[Well actually I'm feeling like a real dodgy friend at the moment] anyway all that can be done is to hope and pray that Ology gets better and the condition doesn't become too serious. This year is heading into minus numbers for everybody.

Classic.
Tuesday, August 9th, 21:25 Mood: Bugger

I bag out daytime tv, but sometimes its just comedy gold.

[Our heroes Billie and Bo have just escaped from a European castle, when Bo winces and Billie cries out rather hysterically....]
Billie: Bo! Are you in pain??
Bo: No I'm okay.
Billie: How can you be okay? You were impaled on a spike!

Some days are darker.
Saturday, August 5th, 00:17 Mood: Hurt

"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the dark that fills my mind
I somehow find that you and I collide

I finally find you and I collide"
-Howie Day, Collide


Mish. Housewife Extraordinaire.
Thursday, August 4th Mood: Simple things where have you gone?

I have a feeling I spelt extraordinaire wrong. Anyway, to all things domestic, Exit Mould! All hail Exit Mould! Spray it once and five minutes later its gone. Its gone. No getting on my hands and knees into the grime and scrubbing. I'm a very happy domestic goddess. If only they'd invent the same thing for dust and oven tops and I'd be in housewifely heaven, nothing to do except vacuuming, oh and laundry [and possibly cooking] well, never mind it leaves me more time to slump in front of the teevee and eat chocolate biscuits, something with which I'm not allocating enough time lately.

In other news, time for shoes! I've been in a shoe drought. A shoe desert. So I'm over compensating by buying two pairs tomorrow, both pink. Yes, both pink [shurrup, I'm turning into a massive drag queen, fake eyelashes, pink shoes, I think I might add a wig to complete the effect.] The first is a pair of Lonsdale pink and grey sneakers [Brand slut!] and the other is heeled sandals covered in ...diamantes. I really am a massive drag queen!

What SB said.
Wednesday, August 3rd 21:25 Mood: A doggy donut on my lap

SB is role playing as a homosexual woman hating nurse stuck on an island
Girl 1: Why should we keep you on the island?
SB: Well I'll still treat you professionally, but inwardly I'd still hate you.
Girl 1: Errr.. and why should we keep you on the island?
SB: I'll revert to being straight so we can repopulate the world.

SB is strangely voted off the island.

SB: Do you think I should work on my public speaking skills?
Me: No, not at all.

Things I've learned working at the casino.
Wednesday, August 3rd 1:11 Mood: Over it

1. Rich people are not necessarily good tippers, in fact I find that mostly? They suck. Here's your ten cents back, you cheap bastard.

2. Your feet will hurt after an eight hour shift. No derr.

3. To make yourself feel better after a customer treats you like an automated teller,, try mumbling "mayallyourchristmasesbebleakandgreyyoulousyfecker" when you've finished, its an instant cheer up.

4. Also for an instant pick up, flirt with the cuuuute italian security guard [provided he is around, of course]

5. It helps to use :gasp: a tray when handing out drinks.
[Really?! a tray?! What did you think I was going to use Alana, you freak faced monster, a pencil holder? my head? a cereal box? Shut up, From now on I will only address you as freak faced monster. Grr]

6. The glint in the eye on the face on the pokie machine is not my imagination. It actually is a glint that comes around every five minutes or so. People beware, you may actually drive yourself crazy thinking that face is coming to life.

7. Males tip better than females. Why I don't know.

8. People who have begged for free drinks will ignore you once they've gotten what they wanted.

9. I am not handing out free drinks to those people anymore

10. All kitchens are grubby everywhere. Casinos, bars, restuarants. Gahh.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

June-July 2005

Geocities has taken two months off my life
Growwwrrrrrrr... Fecking Geocities.
So here is a quick recap of what I can remember of June and July.

Oi vey.

I got a job in Star City the Casino, where they've been working me to death. Which really puts a damper on my social life.
I found out that my friend Saffron doesn't want to stay in Australia which made me really really sad.
My best friend Alphabeta got married. At twenty two. And that made me me sad then nostalgic and then I was all drained out. Also I was really rude to the groom accidentally. Whoops.
Me and SB are sponsoring a child named Thapi in Africa, except that SB calls her Taipei, because he's um.... asian.
Mmm.. Feifei the adulterous chiuhuahua was stolen. Pregnant and kidnapped. You could not be in a more melodramatic situation.
I reaffirmed my love for all things Chris Martin, I watched live aid and signed on, though it doesn't seem to have had any [or much effect]
There was some discussion on my un-feminist stance, because my classmates boobs were poking my eyes out.
My dad told me [some five months later] that my step-grandmother had died, and I'm shitty at him for being so henpecked as to not be even able to pick up the phone to tell me. However my mum [Godloveher] was all "She's old! She was going to die anyway!" Sigh.

Shoooot. What else? What else? I worked in Forresters Hotel for a bit, that was fun. I was told that my designs weren't good enough to sell, so I was all bummed out about that for a while.

Ooh and I completely fell in lust with Shaun of the dead and Harold and Kumar [well maybe Kumar more than Harold. I mean his name is Harold], anyway everyone gets my love.

And as always, I got drunk and went dancing.

Thus concluding the months of June and July. [Once again, a big feck you to Geocities!]

Oh.. and the bomb.. but everyone was thinking about that.

Friday, April 01, 2005

April-May 2005





Conversations with my Doggie or Why men suck in all species.
Thursday still 17:50 Mood: Vicariously rejected

Minnie: Ruff! Ruff! I want to go out! I want to see my boy Yen! Ruff!
Me: Uhhh.. Hold your horses. Let me get your lead on *scuffles* Could you slow down?
Minnie: Boyfriend! Yen!
Me: Slow down! He's just a man.
[Five minutes later at the park]
Me: Oh my God.
Minnie: Oh my God.
Me: Don't look.
Minnie: What is he doing?!!
Me: He's umm.. humping that dog.
Minnie: Hes what?!
Me: I told you not to look.
Minnie: I'm being cheated on!
Me: .... Yes.

Minnie runs after Yen
Minnie: Come back! Come back!
Yen just shakes her off and goes back to humping the Chiuhuahua.
Minnie [getting slightly hysterical, holding onto Yen's tail]: Why don't you want me anymore??
Yen ignores her and runs off after that hussy.
Me: Minnie! Get back here, don't you have any dignity?
Minnie [still trying futilely to hold onto him]: No
Owner A: Yen has too many girlfriends, Ahhahahah.
Minnie and me: Biatch.

[At home]
Me: I told you, men are jerks.
Minnie [slumped on the floor, mumbles]: Prick.

Positivity reeks
Thursday, 26th May, 10:59 Mood: Decidedly unpositive

So even though I have a list of things I like down the side of the page, I will do a free list here because I am offended by a comment [on the internet no less] that lately I've been negative to the ninth degree or turning into Bill Murray. Hmph.

1. Sandwiches [especially ones with
mayonnaise]
2. The anticipation of reading a new
magazine
3. Blue skies
4. Hugs
5. Really, really good gossip- the kind
that makes you go "ooh"
6. Perfumes that smell like water
7. That nicely drunk feeling, not too
tipsy, not too sober [Top that Goldi-
fricking-locks!]
8. Minnie, Doggie Deluxe.
9. Double entendres
10.Travel, itchy feet.


Ooh.. Belgian beer.
Monday, 23rd May, 18:05 Mood: Heartachey

Consider me a convert to Belgian food. I freely admit that when you mention food and belgium in the same sentence, I see grown women with pigtails wearing lederhosen holding blood sausages. But praise the Lord! I have seen the light! Mussels in bacon and cream sauce. Pork sausages with garlic butter mash and sauerkraut. Garlic bread. Hot chips in mayonnaise. Raspberry beer. Raspberry beer. Raspberry beer. Mmm.
And no lederhosen in sight.

When driving home, we passed Chatswood, tentatively I asked Sillyboy if we could pass my old place and so we went up the driveway. It made my heart hurt to know that someone else was living there and that it just wasn't a place I could ever go back to, I almost cried. On the radio, The Corrs sang "Its gonna be a long night.. He can't go home", it didn't help much. [Oh The Corrs, must you continually be the bane of my existence?]

Elsewhere at the park, a dog bites another on the neck and I thank God that its not Minnie, while at the same time feeling terribly guilty that I didn't give the owner some sort of warning. When is it ever the proper time to step in and say something?


Saturday night
Saturday, 21st May. 20:54 Mood: Foom

While I adore Brendan Fraser and at all times enjoy his company, I have two best friends and a boyfriend. I do not understand what I'm doing sitting at home on a Saturday night.


Reasons please
Tuesday, 17th May, 00:07 Mood: Irate

Please give me a reason why I should continue uni despite the fact that my parents would kill me? At the moment I cannot think of a single reason [of course besides the parental thing]. This years ennui continues, I'm so dislocated- I should be back on my feet by now, I'm twenty fricking two and I'm having a mid life crisis, an existential crisis, a financial crisis- in fact there may not be a crisis out there that I'm not having. I just don't understand how I was okay in January and I'm not okay now, shouldn't I have grasped it by now? I've been in this place for four months! There are worse things that could happen and yet I'm blocked, my failure to take control of the situation has resulted in this spiral. Sillyboy is not going to ride in and rescue me, this place is not going to be rocked by earthquake, time will not reverse. Why should I go to uni? How will uni help? What good will this piece of paper be if I'm maintaining a pass average anyway? [Shit, I'm so ashamed] I don't know how to take control, I only want to get out of this place and I don't know how.

Another young life destroyed
Saturday, 14th May, 20:44 Mood: Helpless

I'm an addicted mess, I should be doing my assignment which was due yesterday I should not be messing around on the internet, I should even less not be messing aound with my Sims. I should be like Diligentette who does three drafts of every assignment and starts as soon as its been given. [There I go again with another futile comparison.] I will work harder, I will stop waiting around for life to hand me things on platters. I will get to my assignment [after I stop eating, one can hope.]

This Love
Wednesday, 11th May, 1:16 Mood: Maroon Five

Happy Birthday Baby! I can't believe you don't love birthdays? How can anybody not love birthdays? I know you didn't celebrate them in China but I woulda thought it would be like an adopted ideal like McDonalds and Reality television. Anyway just wanted you to know how much I love you and your silly ways.. [Birthday hating or not] We're like a pair of shoes, chewed up, spit out and ran through mud.. but we're like the best shoes ever.

19:23 Mood: Yipes
My dog has no compassion, not for shoes, not for other dogs. While the dogs are recovering, the shoes are beyond help.

19:35 Mood: Procrastination
I just realised how many times I've mentioned shoes today. Sorry, must be my fetish acting up. Just going to take the medicine for it now. ....


Shattered Ideals
Sunday, 8th May, 21:08 Mood: Tight

Contrary to yesterdays posting [and the ideologies of my entire life] Costume parties do not solve anything, they in fact do not make you feel better. You know the night is a bust when you have more than ample time to ponder Jerry Yan's hair. You know the night is a bust when everyone around you is piss-drunk and you're drier than a pepsi bottle on a desert island. And the night is especially bust worthy, when even a kebab can't make it all better [garlic sauce! cheese!].

I don't know what I was expecting, a Jane Austen novel mixed with erotic fiction. A social event with cocktails, mood lighting and witty repartee. Instead there was dice, cat piss [formerly known as cheap wine] and people pretending to sing like Nicholas Tse.[Sing? I'm being nice.]

The problem with me is that if I had stayed home and watched Iron Chef in my pyjamas and ate cheetos, I would've wondered what I was missing out on, hell I would've pouted. But now I went, I wish that I had stayed home and watched tv! There will be no win. No win.

From now on, I'm only attending costume parties placed in ballrooms.

[I'm only bitter because I'm so disappointed, I'm not naturally bitter]


See?
Saturday, 7th May, 1:08 Mood: Overemotional

Everytime you feel like giving up:

- Send someone a text message with swearing in it.

- Cry.

- Let someone invite you vicariously to a
costume party.


Dear Grandma
Sunday, 1st May, 21:19 Mood: Blasphemous.

Today I wore lipstick and a Minnie mouse bracelet to your gravesite. I'm sure you were revolving at a hundred miles a minute.

I think that you wouldn't be proud of the person that I've become. Hell I'm not even sure if I'm proud of the person I've become, but the generation gap is so huge that any notion that you could understand me in any way is improbable. Unthinkable. I know without a doubt, you think that F and I are completely immoral, our breasts hanging out of your shirts half the time [Yes, it's called a tanktop. Yes, everybody's wearing them] Are we virgins? No we are not. Smoking, drinking, swearing, completely irresponsible young adults. [Wow, that didn't sound too good. Maybe you do have a point]

Generation gap aside, I'm sure that if we meet again in the afterlife you're going to give me a big ol' smack on the head for wearing so much make up when I visit.

Oh Vinnnie.. We love you!
Wednesday, 27th April, 21:00 Mood: Upbeat yet not.

Vin Diesel's toe is considered an aphrodisiac in twelve asian countries.

Vin Diesel's first words were "On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! What will be! What will be is no more! Now is the season of evil!"

Vin Diesel was King of Spain from 1759-1801 and is personally responsible for the deaths of over five French men.

Vin Diesel invented the peanut butter cup, he named it over his childhood dog Reese.

Proudly brought to you by Random facts about Vin Diesel, because what would life be without making fun of the most manly man around??

On a more sober note, fruitless interviews and rejections for all. Who said there were jobs everywhere?

Missing you.
Tuesday, 26th April, 21:35 Mood:

What I'm missing:
-My SB, Hugs at 4am. Kisses in the morning
-Tatertot, MIA for an entire year already. I miss her, some people you think will be in your life forever and when they just
aren't, it hurts
-Sleep, I'm tired of running in my dreams

What helps: having a puppy sleeping in your lap, its something about the way shes sprawled. No trust issues..

Racism. Sexism. Bad News Day..
Sunday, 24th April, 21:49 Mood: Walking wounded

This makes me feel as if sometimes the world just doesn't have anything going for it. To put it in perspective it's probably one deranged fangirl out of fifteen million mildly intelligent fans, but it's still upsetting to read. I'm old enough to realise that these things happen- I mean its the fricking internet! What do I expect? Candied hearts and everlasting love? So why am I so surprised when it happens?

22:10 Mood: Not better

"A victim of rape every minute somewhere in the world. Why? No-one to blame but herself. She displayed her beauty to the entire world. She degraded herself by being an object of sexual desire and thus becoming vulnerable to man who looks at her for gratification of his sexual urge."
- Sheik Faiz Mohamad

Wow. You stupid fucking moron.

Gah.
Thursday, 21st April, 19:31 Mood: Pepperminty

I don't understand why my mum has to compare me to Fishgirl, its not even the same fricking circumstances, it just makes me feel so resentful. If I put myself first all the time I'd probably be doing really well too. Gah.Gah.Gahhhh.

April Fool 2.0
Monday, 18th April, 21:38 Mood: Ironic

Grandma SB: Is that a dog? Why do you have a dog? Sell the dog and make some grandchildren!"


April Fool.
Thursday, 4th April, 17:13 Mood: Busted

On the phone:
M: [sobbing ] Too many sad movies lately, Its just too heavy. After this I'm never watching another heavy movie again*.
SB: Why'd you borrow another sad movie? whats it called?
M: Elephant.
SB: [pause]
Elephants are heavy?

*Hotel Rwanda, Grave of the Fireflies and now this!!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

February-March 2005


While I was away
Wednesday, 30th March, 10:39 Mood: Uncommunicative

The Dog, Earthquakes, Slippery Nipples, Married cousins, The Dog, Mystery Shopping, Terry Schiavo [of which I have no real opinion surprisingly] , Hairwashing in public bathrooms, Grave of the Fireflies, Grandma says the C-word, Did I mention The Dog?

Whats going on with me and Sillyboy? We seem to have entered a distance that we can't bridge, Its so natural that we lean into each other without noticing but otherwise its tense and grudging silence.

14:23

I just had to come back here and comment on Oprahs favourite things, the normal screaming on this show is bad enough, but the pitch has hit the roof, hundreds of screaming women catterwauling for hats and shoes. I'm sure that most of these women IRL are respectable and dignified human beings. but give them a pair of sunglasses with a dose of the cult of Oprah is enough to turn then into drooling shrieking morons,some of them are even crying [[crying?? how do you react at Christmas?!] I haven't even mentioned the raging capitalism [Hewlett Packard! Hewlett Packard! I think she said Hewlett Packard!] I admit that I do covet that damn Californian t-shirt, but get a hold of yourself please. Do a little jig or something, stop screaming.

School Note
Friday, 18th March, 21:38 Mood: LemLemLem

While I think my teacher is an incredibly nice guy, and I would save him from a burning car, his classes make the baby Jesus cry.



Going.. going.. Gone
Tuesday, 15th March, 18:56 Mood: Upanddown

I almost sold my soul to the Daily Telegraph, That was some close call. Your money or your soul? [and would you like fries with that?]



Hi there Minnie
Monday, 14th March, 18:31 Mood:

Sillyboy and I bought a new puppy, a miniature daschund named Minnie [yeah we're really clever] She's an adorable little princess, and I'm not saying that as an endearment she actually acts like one. Going to the beach means stopping for compliments, no not us, her!

Last night I thought I heard a banshee [yes in Australia], she went 'oooglioogoo'. Its amazing how unreasonable you can be laying in the dark..


Ugly.. Beholder.
Thursday, 10th March, 19:53 Mood: Melancholy

Vulgarity, egaritive, scrotum, blog pulchritude and usufruct are apparently the ugliest words in the English language.

But then I like the word usufruct, it kinda sounds like a german dessert, "Waiter I'd like the usufuct but with more cream and less sugar.. dammit man! didn't you hear what I said??!" after which I'd throw my napkin down and stalk out.

I like me some usufruct.


He's not a schlub.
Tuesday, 8th March, 18:02 Mood: Geuu

Why didn't Charlie Brown ever get to kick that damn football?

Weddings
Monday, 7th March. 17:54 Mood: Dispensable

The following conversation occured inside my head this weekend.
M1: Breathe in, breathe out- relax he's only five years old.
M2: I don't care if he's five years old, he's making my eye twitch.
M1: He's five. You're middle aged. Breathe.
M2: My eye is twitching.
M1: It is too! Thats never happened before.
M2: He's biting me.
M1: And your eye is twitching.
M2: Huh.

Another Life Lesson
Wednesday, 2nd March, 16:12 Mood: Sore

Wax will stick to your skin, unless you wash it off with oil. Washing with water will ensure the wax becomes a nice gritty grey colour. Unless gritty glue is your desired effect, wash with oil..

What now?
Monday, 28th Feb, 19:26 Mood: Abonimable

Sometimes I think life is laughing at me.. a big fat Ha!Ha!
I can think of no other explanation as to why I had a job and then I didn't. It never just rains, it fucking pours.

On a side note, [and ironically onto a life much worse than mine] Hotel Rwanda rocks. Go see it, tell the world, bring some tissues..


Raining.
Saturday, 26th Feb, 14:40 Mood: Ambivalent

'Human kindness is overflowing, and I think it's going to rain today'
- Katie Melua.

And Sometimes Life is Okay..
Thursday, 23rd Feb, 19:32 Mood: Joyous but hungry

Sometimes life is okay, on my way to a new job and new job means 'time to holiday!' Cha-cha-cha.
Sillyboy and I had an argument about rocks today, I don't know any other couple that would. Weird? Probably, but it could just be luuurve. Or an unhealthy fascination with geology.

Last night, I was thinking about making apologies to all the people I've wronged in my life. Strangely, the list wasn't as long as I thought it'd be.

Well Shite This.Thursday, 23rd Feb, 01:50pm Mood: Not so good

I'm tired. My computer has crashed four times today. Trying to get this page up and running is making me grouchy.[added to the tiredness].
I think my driving instructor tried to sell me drugs. Only in Sydney and Thailand.
 
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