He says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"
-Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits
---
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
And on the weekend
''Finds a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"
-Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits
---
He says something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"
-Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits
---
Friday, September 24, 2010
A good good night.
The sky is blue.
I just had a salmon [and sour cream] bagel.
The Ting Tings are playing on the radio
Life is full of possibilities.
And tonight I am going to go out and have fun. Be prepared y'all as Mush returns to the gutter for one final time [hello my old home!]. It's about to get really messy.
I promise photos tomorrow.
I just had a salmon [and sour cream] bagel.
The Ting Tings are playing on the radio
Life is full of possibilities.
And tonight I am going to go out and have fun. Be prepared y'all as Mush returns to the gutter for one final time [hello my old home!]. It's about to get really messy.
I promise photos tomorrow.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Lessons in sex and alcohol
Be warned I have a fluoride headache the size of Hiroshima.
--
"Parlez-vous Francais?
Oui!
Parlez-vous Francais?
Oui!
Si tu peux le parler allez tombez la chemise
Do it now because you can and I think you should
Do it now because you can and I told you to
Do it now because you can, I'll take mine off too
Do it now because you can, cause you can"
-Parlez vous Francais, Art vs Science
Well I did say I could speak basic French and thanks to Art vs Science I can now totally wander down the Champ Elysees (which is a busy street!) next year and tell girls to take their tops off. I don't know how well it'll serve me however since I'm going in February and it'll be cold and they're going to think I'm crazy. Digressing: If you do look for this song- don't go the original- look for the Hey Now Remix. It flows much better.
--
Since I had a bit of time this morning since Hexagirl was running late- I thought I would sort through my mail.
I don't think this photo can possibly convey how much junk was in my mailbox, but needless to say we can tell where most of the Amazonian rainforest ended up. Right here.
Anyway I was flipping through when I saw this .. What the hell- I don't think I ordered anything I wasn't supposed to order. I ripped open the classy black envelope. [I'm not riffing- I genuinely think/thought that the envelope was kind of classy.. and does my thumb look a bit odd??! I swear that's actually my thumb and I'm not flashing my bits on camera.]
and then...
..
Well seriously, I take off my hat to the marketers of this campaign. Nice hook. And good going with that envelope.
---
So I thought it would be a bright idea to go to the dentist. Who does that? Who voluntarily goes off for a bout of self-inflicted torture? Masochists like me apparently. After he was done, he prescribed me a bout of antibiotics for a mouth infection I didn't know I had. Awesome. Before I left, I asked him..
"You didn't say.. what am I supposed to not take with these? " [bonus points for superb grammar construction]
He smiles at me: "Cigarettes and alcohol."
"Oh. I don't smoke so okay."
So I drag my ass to the pharmacy where I am promptly served by a pharmacist who just graduated high school.
"So Mush, take these.. "
"Sure, just to clarify.. what am I supposed to stay away from?"
"Alcohol."
"Oh. Uhm. That's cool, I can do that. Er, how long am I supposed to take these for?"
"Seven days."
"Seven days??" I forgot that I'm supposed to be going on a trip next weekend and this is going to be a pothole on the highway to Port Stephens. I wonder if he prescribes valium. I stare at the packet. "Can this be shortened- do I have to take the entire packet?"
I had visions of wine tasting and drunken golf and beers in the sun.. and they start to waver in front of me like mirages. Frick.
He looks at me in consternation. "No. Finish the entire thing."
Those mirages flicker and disappear. Goodbye images! "Er. And what happens if I mix?"
He peers at me like I just asked him for a specimen cup to pee in in the middle of the store. "You will get really really really sick."
I think the expression on my face says it all. Crap.
He gives me the most exasperated look of all time, bar my mother. This 18 year old who just graduated from high school.
"Mush. Can you not go without alcohol for seven days?"
I just got told by a high schooler and my mouth hurts. The indignity of it all.
"Yes. yes. I can. It just puts a dent in my holiday. Excuse me." And I swish away.. likely to never come back to this pharmacy in case they tie me down to cart me off to AA.
--
So we're all sitting around eating dinner [and I guess it's not appropriate dinner conversation, but when is it ever?] but you put a bunch of twenty somethings around a table and the conversation is 75% of the time likely to turn to sex.
It just is. I don't know why.
And so Genki was talking about his proclivity for slapping people during sex. I almost choked on my boat noodles.
Mush: Wait. Are we talking about slapping on the ass or over the face?
Genki: Over the face.
Mush: You have got to be kidding me. Doesn't that hurt? Are they okay with that? So many questions!
Genki: I just kind of ease them into it.
And then everyone looks at me like I just arrived on a boat from China. I'm an illegal immigrant on the shores of a sexual continent or something. Apparently it's a big continent and I know nothing.
St Mary: Haven't you ever been slapped during sex? I have. It turns me off a bit
Donnie: I've done it. But not with St Mary.
Genki: It's my thing to do with my girls.
Mush: I think my brain exploded and is leaking out of my ears.. what is everyone talking about? Why would you do that? it would hurt! Who does that??
Genki: Have you never had make-up sex? Make-up sex is the best thing to have when you're both angry and fired up.
Mush: Geez, you would think slapping somebody would get them angry.
Donnie: Well the best thing for you to do would be to try it. In the heat of the moment say hit me! hit me! and then see how it feels afterwards, I guarantee you it'll make a huge difference. In fact, google it. They have studies on it... Best to try it with someone you trust though.
Mush: You kids are all just psyching me out right?
St Mary: Slapping is fine. I get really turned off by choking.
Mush: Choking?? What.
Genki: It's the closest thing to living and dying at the same time.
St Mary: You know what? Go ask Mexicana, I'll bet she's done it- she's pretty wild and adventurous with things like that.
Mush: You know if Mexicana was down with the whole slapping thing, I'm sure she would have told me. Wtf.
[Five hours later]
Mexicana: What? No! Your friends are weird! If someone slapped me I'd slap them right back. I would be majorly pissed off. I would not be turned on by it.
Mush: That's what I thought.
I guess when you think about it [and I really don't want to think about it too hard] I can see why people do it but I like my face most of the time, you'd be kind of hard pressed to explain the next day to all your workmates and friends why you have a goddamn handprint on your cheekbone. I walked into a door. My new blusher doesn't sit right. My boyfriend slapped me around sexually-but that's okay! I'm okay with it!
The bulk of it is that on some level it bothers me that anyone you trust would be willing to hit you even if you were a-ok with it. I suppose that if one day I brought it up with whomsoever I date, I would be reallyreallyreally relieved if they said "No, I would never raise a hand to you in any way even if it was in a permissive and sexual environment. And I would never want to hurt your face" As opposed to "Hey yeah! let's go! I have my high five ready!". Am I hopelessly naive to think like that? Big sexual continent.
--
"Parlez-vous Francais?
Oui!
Parlez-vous Francais?
Oui!
Si tu peux le parler allez tombez la chemise
Do it now because you can and I think you should
Do it now because you can and I told you to
Do it now because you can, I'll take mine off too
Do it now because you can, cause you can"
-Parlez vous Francais, Art vs Science
Well I did say I could speak basic French and thanks to Art vs Science I can now totally wander down the Champ Elysees (which is a busy street!) next year and tell girls to take their tops off. I don't know how well it'll serve me however since I'm going in February and it'll be cold and they're going to think I'm crazy. Digressing: If you do look for this song- don't go the original- look for the Hey Now Remix. It flows much better.
--
Since I had a bit of time this morning since Hexagirl was running late- I thought I would sort through my mail.
I don't think this photo can possibly convey how much junk was in my mailbox, but needless to say we can tell where most of the Amazonian rainforest ended up. Right here.
Anyway I was flipping through when I saw this .. What the hell- I don't think I ordered anything I wasn't supposed to order. I ripped open the classy black envelope. [I'm not riffing- I genuinely think/thought that the envelope was kind of classy.. and does my thumb look a bit odd??! I swear that's actually my thumb and I'm not flashing my bits on camera.]and then...
..
Well seriously, I take off my hat to the marketers of this campaign. Nice hook. And good going with that envelope.
---
So I thought it would be a bright idea to go to the dentist. Who does that? Who voluntarily goes off for a bout of self-inflicted torture? Masochists like me apparently. After he was done, he prescribed me a bout of antibiotics for a mouth infection I didn't know I had. Awesome. Before I left, I asked him..
"You didn't say.. what am I supposed to not take with these? " [bonus points for superb grammar construction]
He smiles at me: "Cigarettes and alcohol."
"Oh. I don't smoke so okay."
So I drag my ass to the pharmacy where I am promptly served by a pharmacist who just graduated high school.
"So Mush, take these.. "
"Sure, just to clarify.. what am I supposed to stay away from?"
"Alcohol."
"Oh. Uhm. That's cool, I can do that. Er, how long am I supposed to take these for?"
"Seven days."
"Seven days??" I forgot that I'm supposed to be going on a trip next weekend and this is going to be a pothole on the highway to Port Stephens. I wonder if he prescribes valium. I stare at the packet. "Can this be shortened- do I have to take the entire packet?"
I had visions of wine tasting and drunken golf and beers in the sun.. and they start to waver in front of me like mirages. Frick.
He looks at me in consternation. "No. Finish the entire thing."
Those mirages flicker and disappear. Goodbye images! "Er. And what happens if I mix?"
He peers at me like I just asked him for a specimen cup to pee in in the middle of the store. "You will get really really really sick."
I think the expression on my face says it all. Crap.
He gives me the most exasperated look of all time, bar my mother. This 18 year old who just graduated from high school.
"Mush. Can you not go without alcohol for seven days?"
I just got told by a high schooler and my mouth hurts. The indignity of it all.
"Yes. yes. I can. It just puts a dent in my holiday. Excuse me." And I swish away.. likely to never come back to this pharmacy in case they tie me down to cart me off to AA.
--
So we're all sitting around eating dinner [and I guess it's not appropriate dinner conversation, but when is it ever?] but you put a bunch of twenty somethings around a table and the conversation is 75% of the time likely to turn to sex.
It just is. I don't know why.
And so Genki was talking about his proclivity for slapping people during sex. I almost choked on my boat noodles.
Mush: Wait. Are we talking about slapping on the ass or over the face?
Genki: Over the face.
Mush: You have got to be kidding me. Doesn't that hurt? Are they okay with that? So many questions!
Genki: I just kind of ease them into it.
And then everyone looks at me like I just arrived on a boat from China. I'm an illegal immigrant on the shores of a sexual continent or something. Apparently it's a big continent and I know nothing.
St Mary: Haven't you ever been slapped during sex? I have. It turns me off a bit
Donnie: I've done it. But not with St Mary.
Genki: It's my thing to do with my girls.
Mush: I think my brain exploded and is leaking out of my ears.. what is everyone talking about? Why would you do that? it would hurt! Who does that??
Genki: Have you never had make-up sex? Make-up sex is the best thing to have when you're both angry and fired up.
Mush: Geez, you would think slapping somebody would get them angry.
Donnie: Well the best thing for you to do would be to try it. In the heat of the moment say hit me! hit me! and then see how it feels afterwards, I guarantee you it'll make a huge difference. In fact, google it. They have studies on it... Best to try it with someone you trust though.
Mush: You kids are all just psyching me out right?
St Mary: Slapping is fine. I get really turned off by choking.
Mush: Choking?? What.
Genki: It's the closest thing to living and dying at the same time.
St Mary: You know what? Go ask Mexicana, I'll bet she's done it- she's pretty wild and adventurous with things like that.
Mush: You know if Mexicana was down with the whole slapping thing, I'm sure she would have told me. Wtf.
[Five hours later]
Mexicana: What? No! Your friends are weird! If someone slapped me I'd slap them right back. I would be majorly pissed off. I would not be turned on by it.
Mush: That's what I thought.
I guess when you think about it [and I really don't want to think about it too hard] I can see why people do it but I like my face most of the time, you'd be kind of hard pressed to explain the next day to all your workmates and friends why you have a goddamn handprint on your cheekbone. I walked into a door. My new blusher doesn't sit right. My boyfriend slapped me around sexually-but that's okay! I'm okay with it!
The bulk of it is that on some level it bothers me that anyone you trust would be willing to hit you even if you were a-ok with it. I suppose that if one day I brought it up with whomsoever I date, I would be reallyreallyreally relieved if they said "No, I would never raise a hand to you in any way even if it was in a permissive and sexual environment. And I would never want to hurt your face" As opposed to "Hey yeah! let's go! I have my high five ready!". Am I hopelessly naive to think like that? Big sexual continent.
Friday, September 10, 2010
2:25am
When you suddenly wake up and think how could you have stuffed that up so badly? Those doubts that you're doing the right thing are magnified when you're laying here in the dark staring at the ceiling. In the morning you'll be yourself again if you can just get over it and go back to sleep.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
The best way to say it.
Well it's the best way to say it! Tell someone Fuck you through a jaunty song. Do it today!
The bigbigbig boss
So everyone had gone out to lunch and I was here working away like a demented chipmunk. This demented chipmunk likes her pop music realllllly loud and so I turned it up full blast.
After a couple of songs I thought, oh geez what if someone comes back early? I'm going to have some explaining to do. So I turned it back down and shuffled back to my desk.
As soon as I sat back down, I could hear someone coming up the stairs. And wouldn't you know it- the bigbigbig boss pops his head around. I have never seen the bigbigbig boss in person, only in the papers so I was a bit. Oh. Oh?
What the heck am I supposed to do besides smile politely, he has enough money to assassinate entire country towns, I better be on my best behavour.
[The fucking door just opened behind me as I was typing this scaring the holy ^%^%^%^&* bejeeebus out of me. Anyway I digress. ]
So he smiles at me, I smile at him and we're just smiling at each other like bobbles. Before he finally clears his throat and says "Where is everyone?"
"Uhm. Out to lunch I think?"
We do the smiling thing for a while longer before he excuses himself and exits the door behind my desk.
And ooh my song has just come up on the radio, so I think I'm free to turn it back up. I don't know if I can get fired for singing really loudly and out of key.
After a couple of songs I thought, oh geez what if someone comes back early? I'm going to have some explaining to do. So I turned it back down and shuffled back to my desk.
As soon as I sat back down, I could hear someone coming up the stairs. And wouldn't you know it- the bigbigbig boss pops his head around. I have never seen the bigbigbig boss in person, only in the papers so I was a bit. Oh. Oh?
What the heck am I supposed to do besides smile politely, he has enough money to assassinate entire country towns, I better be on my best behavour.
[The fucking door just opened behind me as I was typing this scaring the holy ^%^%^%^&* bejeeebus out of me. Anyway I digress. ]
So he smiles at me, I smile at him and we're just smiling at each other like bobbles. Before he finally clears his throat and says "Where is everyone?"
"Uhm. Out to lunch I think?"
We do the smiling thing for a while longer before he excuses himself and exits the door behind my desk.
And ooh my song has just come up on the radio, so I think I'm free to turn it back up. I don't know if I can get fired for singing really loudly and out of key.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
And we have a new PM!
And how do you like them apples, right wingers?? Are they tasting slightly sour?
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Climbs back up onto my feminist soapbox
I'm going to dust off my little soapbox and get back on top of it. It really is getting a workout lately [yup. Kids? Also? Get off my lawn.]
So here are three conversations in the space of a day.
--
[At breakfast]
Matty: So would you drive a lamborghini? Actually no wait, what do you think of girls who drive lamborghinis.
JW: Oh, nah I wouldn't. And also hot. but possibly a prostitute.
Mush : [eyebrows start creeping up]
Matty: Ahahahahaha, Mush is thinking about taking one out for a day. Careful Mush!
JW: Well, really a lamborghini is not something a girl would ... choose.. they normally would pick something smaller.
Mush: With a handbag hook. Right?
JW: If you're going to take one out then you would be an exception. And anyway most girls don't drive manual
Mush: [eye roll] What is going on with the gender stereotyping at this table?
Matty: [grins] She drives manual. What are you doing Mush? Don't let him get away with this- let him have it!
[At lunch}
Mush: So anyway when I get to Europe..
Saint Mary: Wait, who you're going with?
Mush: By myself?
Saint Mary: By yourself...?
Mush: Yes.... what?
Saint Mary: You're going to Europe. By yourself. Isn't that dangerous? One girl by herself?
Mush: One girl? [splutters] I'm perfectly capable, where exactly do you think I'm going?
Saint Mary: It's not that. It'd be better for someone to take you around and anyway you don't even speak the language.
Mush: I speak French. I speak basic French. I can get around *exasperated* Why do I need to tote a guy with me?
Saint Mary: Oh, you speak French?
Mush? Is that going to make it better?
[And the last conversation of the day. Grr. I was grr the entire day]
Mush: I think the adrenaline outweighs the risk.
K: That's interesting. Most girls don't.
Mush: Don't put me in a box.
K: Sorry. I'm just generalising.
Mush: Yeah. Don't do that either.
Don't tell me my limitations based on my gender. If you think I can't do it, say "I don't think you can do it" based on my ability and not because I am the proud owner of a vagina. Don't assume anything about me because I'm female- because chances are I'll prove you wrong and I'll kick your ass while doing it. And if you say I can't do it because I am female, I'm going to go off and do it just to spite you because I am that stubborn.
Yes, I like the colour pink, Hello Kitty and fruity cocktails but that doesn't mean I need rescuing. I can still change my own lightbulbs and tires, I am perfectly capable of travelling alone without being kidnapped and you can try and drink me under the table, but the word is try. I take no responsibility when you pass out unconscious in a gutter somewhere.
Don't try and put me in your gender created little box because all you'll do is just really really annoy me. I'll tell you where you and your casual sexism can go. The cliff is that way.
Oh, and lastly before I get off this soapbox, for the 67,000th time in 67,001 conversations. I do not want to buy a Honda Jazz. I will never buy a Honda Jazz. I do not care if it has a handbag hook. God.
[I know it seems like I'm in a really bad mood, but actually I'm in an awesome mood-but I really needed to get that off my chest from yesterday. Grr.]
So here are three conversations in the space of a day.
--
[At breakfast]
Matty: So would you drive a lamborghini? Actually no wait, what do you think of girls who drive lamborghinis.
JW: Oh, nah I wouldn't. And also hot. but possibly a prostitute.
Mush : [eyebrows start creeping up]
Matty: Ahahahahaha, Mush is thinking about taking one out for a day. Careful Mush!
JW: Well, really a lamborghini is not something a girl would ... choose.. they normally would pick something smaller.
Mush: With a handbag hook. Right?
JW: If you're going to take one out then you would be an exception. And anyway most girls don't drive manual
Mush: [eye roll] What is going on with the gender stereotyping at this table?
Matty: [grins] She drives manual. What are you doing Mush? Don't let him get away with this- let him have it!
[At lunch}
Mush: So anyway when I get to Europe..
Saint Mary: Wait, who you're going with?
Mush: By myself?
Saint Mary: By yourself...?
Mush: Yes.... what?
Saint Mary: You're going to Europe. By yourself. Isn't that dangerous? One girl by herself?
Mush: One girl? [splutters] I'm perfectly capable, where exactly do you think I'm going?
Saint Mary: It's not that. It'd be better for someone to take you around and anyway you don't even speak the language.
Mush: I speak French. I speak basic French. I can get around *exasperated* Why do I need to tote a guy with me?
Saint Mary: Oh, you speak French?
Mush? Is that going to make it better?
[And the last conversation of the day. Grr. I was grr the entire day]
Mush: I think the adrenaline outweighs the risk.
K: That's interesting. Most girls don't.
Mush: Don't put me in a box.
K: Sorry. I'm just generalising.
Mush: Yeah. Don't do that either.
Don't tell me my limitations based on my gender. If you think I can't do it, say "I don't think you can do it" based on my ability and not because I am the proud owner of a vagina. Don't assume anything about me because I'm female- because chances are I'll prove you wrong and I'll kick your ass while doing it. And if you say I can't do it because I am female, I'm going to go off and do it just to spite you because I am that stubborn.
Yes, I like the colour pink, Hello Kitty and fruity cocktails but that doesn't mean I need rescuing. I can still change my own lightbulbs and tires, I am perfectly capable of travelling alone without being kidnapped and you can try and drink me under the table, but the word is try. I take no responsibility when you pass out unconscious in a gutter somewhere.
Don't try and put me in your gender created little box because all you'll do is just really really annoy me. I'll tell you where you and your casual sexism can go. The cliff is that way.
Oh, and lastly before I get off this soapbox, for the 67,000th time in 67,001 conversations. I do not want to buy a Honda Jazz. I will never buy a Honda Jazz. I do not care if it has a handbag hook. God.
[I know it seems like I'm in a really bad mood, but actually I'm in an awesome mood-but I really needed to get that off my chest from yesterday. Grr.]
Saturday, September 04, 2010
A bit blue and a bit pink.
For some reason I look best when I look sad. It's just that kind of face.Wednesday, September 01, 2010
An Early Birthday Present
Something like 3 weeks ago, it was R6's birthday and I thought I would be nice and get him something. According to everyone in the world, this was a tremendously bad idea. My argument was "What can be the harm in it? It doesn't mean anything. And you know what? If he suddenly bins me.. I can just keep it".
Well clearly I need to stop being so stubborn about absolutely everything because I went out and picked him up a Razer mouse anyway, ignoring all my friends trying to beat me around the head with sacks filled with rocks.
Of course, as we all know I've been unceremoniously binned. And I forgot about the mouse til today. Exactly five hours ago.
I was sent to work from home and I was getting frustrated because I wasn't moving those damn pixels exactly where I wanted them. Bing.
I eyed the bag. Oh what the hell. He's not coming back so I may as well open it.
I pulled it from its plastic [and for some reason it comes with extra stickers? Where am I expected to stick these stickers?] and plugged it into my tower. And holy moly.. it's reallyreallyreallyreallyreally fast and oh so smooth and all those pixels were going exactly where I was pushing them. And can I just say this:
Well clearly I need to stop being so stubborn about absolutely everything because I went out and picked him up a Razer mouse anyway, ignoring all my friends trying to beat me around the head with sacks filled with rocks.
Of course, as we all know I've been unceremoniously binned. And I forgot about the mouse til today. Exactly five hours ago.
I was sent to work from home and I was getting frustrated because I wasn't moving those damn pixels exactly where I wanted them. Bing.
I eyed the bag. Oh what the hell. He's not coming back so I may as well open it.
... Deep breath.. OH HAI!
Hello lover. Where have you been my entire life?
Mexicana at some point messaged me "How is it?" I think in my delirium replied "It's so fast that I can't see where the arrow is."
"Nice."
There is only one problem with the mouse- the base is ultra slick so that it glides easier. My computer table is a horizontally propped easel, so when I'm not looking [and that's fairly often considering I'm easily distracted by chips] the mouse slides straight off the table and hurtles itself towards the floor.
Wtf with being a suicidal mouse. But other than that, I think I'm in love. Happy birthday to me, I really need to buy high tech gadgets for myself more often.
Wtf with being a suicidal mouse. But other than that, I think I'm in love. Happy birthday to me, I really need to buy high tech gadgets for myself more often.
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