Conversations with my Doggie or Why men suck in all species.
Thursday still 17:50 Mood: Vicariously rejected
Minnie: Ruff! Ruff! I want to go out! I want to see my boy Yen! Ruff!
Me: Uhhh.. Hold your horses. Let me get your lead on *scuffles* Could you slow down?
Minnie: Boyfriend! Yen!
Me: Slow down! He's just a man.
[Five minutes later at the park]
Me: Oh my God.
Minnie: Oh my God.
Me: Don't look.
Minnie: What is he doing?!!
Me: He's umm.. humping that dog.
Minnie: Hes what?!
Me: I told you not to look.
Minnie: I'm being cheated on!
Me: .... Yes.
Minnie runs after Yen
Minnie: Come back! Come back!
Yen just shakes her off and goes back to humping the Chiuhuahua.
Minnie [getting slightly hysterical, holding onto Yen's tail]: Why don't you want me anymore??
Yen ignores her and runs off after that hussy.
Me: Minnie! Get back here, don't you have any dignity?
Minnie [still trying futilely to hold onto him]: No
Owner A: Yen has too many girlfriends, Ahhahahah.
Minnie and me: Biatch.
[At home]
Me: I told you, men are jerks.
Minnie [slumped on the floor, mumbles]: Prick.
Positivity reeks
Thursday, 26th May, 10:59 Mood: Decidedly unpositive
So even though I have a list of things I like down the side of the page, I will do a free list here because I am offended by a comment [on the internet no less] that lately I've been negative to the ninth degree or turning into Bill Murray. Hmph.
1. Sandwiches [especially ones with
mayonnaise]
2. The anticipation of reading a new
magazine
3. Blue skies
4. Hugs
5. Really, really good gossip- the kind
that makes you go "ooh"
6. Perfumes that smell like water
7. That nicely drunk feeling, not too
tipsy, not too sober [Top that Goldi-
fricking-locks!]
8. Minnie, Doggie Deluxe.
9. Double entendres
10.Travel, itchy feet.
Ooh.. Belgian beer.
Monday, 23rd May, 18:05 Mood: Heartachey
Consider me a convert to Belgian food. I freely admit that when you mention food and belgium in the same sentence, I see grown women with pigtails wearing lederhosen holding blood sausages. But praise the Lord! I have seen the light! Mussels in bacon and cream sauce. Pork sausages with garlic butter mash and sauerkraut. Garlic bread. Hot chips in mayonnaise. Raspberry beer. Raspberry beer. Raspberry beer. Mmm.
And no lederhosen in sight.
When driving home, we passed Chatswood, tentatively I asked Sillyboy if we could pass my old place and so we went up the driveway. It made my heart hurt to know that someone else was living there and that it just wasn't a place I could ever go back to, I almost cried. On the radio, The Corrs sang "Its gonna be a long night.. He can't go home", it didn't help much. [Oh The Corrs, must you continually be the bane of my existence?]
Elsewhere at the park, a dog bites another on the neck and I thank God that its not Minnie, while at the same time feeling terribly guilty that I didn't give the owner some sort of warning. When is it ever the proper time to step in and say something?
Saturday night
Saturday, 21st May. 20:54 Mood: Foom
While I adore Brendan Fraser and at all times enjoy his company, I have two best friends and a boyfriend. I do not understand what I'm doing sitting at home on a Saturday night.
Reasons please
Tuesday, 17th May, 00:07 Mood: Irate
Please give me a reason why I should continue uni despite the fact that my parents would kill me? At the moment I cannot think of a single reason [of course besides the parental thing]. This years ennui continues, I'm so dislocated- I should be back on my feet by now, I'm twenty fricking two and I'm having a mid life crisis, an existential crisis, a financial crisis- in fact there may not be a crisis out there that I'm not having. I just don't understand how I was okay in January and I'm not okay now, shouldn't I have grasped it by now? I've been in this place for four months! There are worse things that could happen and yet I'm blocked, my failure to take control of the situation has resulted in this spiral. Sillyboy is not going to ride in and rescue me, this place is not going to be rocked by earthquake, time will not reverse. Why should I go to uni? How will uni help? What good will this piece of paper be if I'm maintaining a pass average anyway? [Shit, I'm so ashamed] I don't know how to take control, I only want to get out of this place and I don't know how.
Another young life destroyed
Saturday, 14th May, 20:44 Mood: Helpless
I'm an addicted mess, I should be doing my assignment which was due yesterday I should not be messing around on the internet, I should even less not be messing aound with my Sims. I should be like Diligentette who does three drafts of every assignment and starts as soon as its been given. [There I go again with another futile comparison.] I will work harder, I will stop waiting around for life to hand me things on platters. I will get to my assignment [after I stop eating, one can hope.]
This Love
Wednesday, 11th May, 1:16 Mood: Maroon Five
Happy Birthday Baby! I can't believe you don't love birthdays? How can anybody not love birthdays? I know you didn't celebrate them in China but I woulda thought it would be like an adopted ideal like McDonalds and Reality television. Anyway just wanted you to know how much I love you and your silly ways.. [Birthday hating or not] We're like a pair of shoes, chewed up, spit out and ran through mud.. but we're like the best shoes ever.
19:23 Mood: Yipes
My dog has no compassion, not for shoes, not for other dogs. While the dogs are recovering, the shoes are beyond help.
19:35 Mood: Procrastination
I just realised how many times I've mentioned shoes today. Sorry, must be my fetish acting up. Just going to take the medicine for it now. ....
Shattered Ideals
Sunday, 8th May, 21:08 Mood: Tight
Contrary to yesterdays posting [and the ideologies of my entire life] Costume parties do not solve anything, they in fact do not make you feel better. You know the night is a bust when you have more than ample time to ponder Jerry Yan's hair. You know the night is a bust when everyone around you is piss-drunk and you're drier than a pepsi bottle on a desert island. And the night is especially bust worthy, when even a kebab can't make it all better [garlic sauce! cheese!].
I don't know what I was expecting, a Jane Austen novel mixed with erotic fiction. A social event with cocktails, mood lighting and witty repartee. Instead there was dice, cat piss [formerly known as cheap wine] and people pretending to sing like Nicholas Tse.[Sing? I'm being nice.]
The problem with me is that if I had stayed home and watched Iron Chef in my pyjamas and ate cheetos, I would've wondered what I was missing out on, hell I would've pouted. But now I went, I wish that I had stayed home and watched tv! There will be no win. No win.
From now on, I'm only attending costume parties placed in ballrooms.
[I'm only bitter because I'm so disappointed, I'm not naturally bitter]
See?
Saturday, 7th May, 1:08 Mood: Overemotional
Everytime you feel like giving up:
- Send someone a text message with swearing in it.
- Cry.
- Let someone invite you vicariously to a
costume party.
Dear Grandma
Sunday, 1st May, 21:19 Mood: Blasphemous.
Today I wore lipstick and a Minnie mouse bracelet to your gravesite. I'm sure you were revolving at a hundred miles a minute.
I think that you wouldn't be proud of the person that I've become. Hell I'm not even sure if I'm proud of the person I've become, but the generation gap is so huge that any notion that you could understand me in any way is improbable. Unthinkable. I know without a doubt, you think that F and I are completely immoral, our breasts hanging out of your shirts half the time [Yes, it's called a tanktop. Yes, everybody's wearing them] Are we virgins? No we are not. Smoking, drinking, swearing, completely irresponsible young adults. [Wow, that didn't sound too good. Maybe you do have a point]
Generation gap aside, I'm sure that if we meet again in the afterlife you're going to give me a big ol' smack on the head for wearing so much make up when I visit.
Oh Vinnnie.. We love you!
Wednesday, 27th April, 21:00 Mood: Upbeat yet not.
Vin Diesel's toe is considered an aphrodisiac in twelve asian countries.
Vin Diesel's first words were "On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! What will be! What will be is no more! Now is the season of evil!"
Vin Diesel was King of Spain from 1759-1801 and is personally responsible for the deaths of over five French men.
Vin Diesel invented the peanut butter cup, he named it over his childhood dog Reese.
Proudly brought to you by Random facts about Vin Diesel, because what would life be without making fun of the most manly man around??
On a more sober note, fruitless interviews and rejections for all. Who said there were jobs everywhere?
Missing you.
Tuesday, 26th April, 21:35 Mood:
What I'm missing:
-My SB, Hugs at 4am. Kisses in the morning
-Tatertot, MIA for an entire year already. I miss her, some people you think will be in your life forever and when they just
aren't, it hurts
-Sleep, I'm tired of running in my dreams
What helps: having a puppy sleeping in your lap, its something about the way shes sprawled. No trust issues..
Racism. Sexism. Bad News Day..
Sunday, 24th April, 21:49 Mood: Walking wounded
This makes me feel as if sometimes the world just doesn't have anything going for it. To put it in perspective it's probably one deranged fangirl out of fifteen million mildly intelligent fans, but it's still upsetting to read. I'm old enough to realise that these things happen- I mean its the fricking internet! What do I expect? Candied hearts and everlasting love? So why am I so surprised when it happens?
22:10 Mood: Not better
"A victim of rape every minute somewhere in the world. Why? No-one to blame but herself. She displayed her beauty to the entire world. She degraded herself by being an object of sexual desire and thus becoming vulnerable to man who looks at her for gratification of his sexual urge."
- Sheik Faiz Mohamad
Wow. You stupid fucking moron.
Gah.
Thursday, 21st April, 19:31 Mood: Pepperminty
I don't understand why my mum has to compare me to Fishgirl, its not even the same fricking circumstances, it just makes me feel so resentful. If I put myself first all the time I'd probably be doing really well too. Gah.Gah.Gahhhh.
April Fool 2.0
Monday, 18th April, 21:38 Mood: Ironic
Grandma SB: Is that a dog? Why do you have a dog? Sell the dog and make some grandchildren!"
April Fool.
Thursday, 4th April, 17:13 Mood: Busted
On the phone:
M: [sobbing ] Too many sad movies lately, Its just too heavy. After this I'm never watching another heavy movie again*.
SB: Why'd you borrow another sad movie? whats it called?
M: Elephant.
SB: [pause]
Elephants are heavy?
*Hotel Rwanda, Grave of the Fireflies and now this!!
