Monday, April 15, 2013

On babies. Again.

In the last few weeks, a set of water balloons popped up my under my eyes and they are not going away. Dem's apparently the breaks of getting old.

And in other news about getting old - kids! kids! kids! Mexicana chose to provide not one but two adorbs details about child birth (which I'm going to share with you oh-so lovingly) while I was eating.

1. Babies can tear you through all the way to the butthole- a fourth degree tear, leaving you incontinent forever. In other words, you and child will both be wearing nappies.

2. In order to prevent this, your helpful doctor will take a pair of scissors and cut your vahjayjay bigger. Without anasthetic. Snip snip.

Did I mention that I was spooning noodles into my mouth at the time of these fun factoids?

And then she preceded to tell me that if I didn't have kids I would die alone and no-one would visit me in hospital.

She was trying to sell me on the idea and instead she just made me want to pack up my Winnebago (with ND) and head for the open road.

I wish someone would give me the right reason for having kids, because I have extra love to give, because it will make my life better, because it will bring happiness to people's lives.

Not because a) I'm having one because I have reproductive organs
                     b) because I'm supposed to have one
                     c) hypothetical children will help me in the rice paddies

Do you see what I mean? No-one ever says anything about good, positive reasons to have kids. Only that this is some role I'm supposed to fill. And the more I hear, the more I'm tempted to just go the other way and live my life in an armchair with some books in my personal library.

 
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