Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Following her where she went

About five years ago, my Dad had an affair on my stepmum and I was sitting with her in the dark waiting for him to come home.

I was really worried but I just kept quiet- she zonked out and stared into space- we sat like this for a good ten minutes when she suddenly came out of her coma, stood up and said very clearly "I'm going to kill her"

And I panicked and grabbed for her arm [because I was pretty sure that that wasn't some idle threat].. in the midst of my panicky fog I distinctly recall wondering where she had been for those ten minutes to lead her to that conclusion.

Bear in mind that my stepmother and I have nothing in common.

I came home tonight, got into a hot shower and proceeded to space out. Then the thoughts came, angry violent thoughts which reduced me to a shivering crouch. I think if I ever see that girl there's no way I won't cause her any grievious bodily harm- God help her if I'm holding a glass bottle.

I didn't even realise the shower got cold. And I knew where my stepmum had been in those ten minutes. Dark dark spaces.

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