Coldplay Ban

Dear Chris,

You know that I still want to have your babies and live with you on a tropical island with a soundstage so you can sing to me everyday.

Mush

--

So Coldplay is in Australia- and I gave away my tickets. Thats right! I gaaaaave away my tickets so right now I am in some sort of pain. I am foetal- it's amazing that I can unfold myself to type this at all. And I thought to reduce the constant angst of hearing Nova [please shut up Nova for the love of God] broadcasting that they are sponsoring their tour 24/7- I would just have a Coldplay ban for this week.

Y'know- it sounds easy. Don't play the radio this week. Don't turn on the tv to anything even slightly commercial [Thanks Tv Gods for having fifteen thousand interviews with them this weeek which I had to avoid- much appreciated] , Don't put your ipod on shuffle [just listen to playlists] and bam! the week should be over and I can crawl out of my closet and not think about their PLANE DEPARTING FOR THE NEXT COUNTRY.

Well it sounded easy enough.

It's much harder than it looks. They play the radio in my bar at work and I had to 'run away' everytime a Coldplay song came on [ie. stand outside and whistle at the ceiling like an idiot] so I would just wait for my drinks and then the first chords of Life in Technicolor would play and I would wail/gnash my teeth outside, count to two hundred then sidle back in. Of course, always just in time for the Dj to gush "aren't they awesome?! They are playing TONIGHT! TONIGHT! Did I not mention they are playing TONIGHT?!" Huh.

And then at some point they played "Vida la vida" and my bartender apparently loves that song so he decided to play it full blast so I had to walk even further away to get away from it and I counted to two hundred and I walked back in and it was still going.

One, two.. two hundred..

Still going.

One, two.. two hundred.

Still going- How the heck long is this song??? Winamp says 4 minutes and 4 seconds but I don't believe them.

I was in serious pain. That was a long shift. I went home and tried to soothe my nerves with some Josh Pyke. Yeah, no. That didn't work

(Digression: The problem with Josh Pyke is sometimes he's an awesome lyricist and sometimes to put it nicely.. he really really sucks and also he sounds the same on the badly written songs and maybe he should try some new chords? See.. I think Josh is a bit twee so he should make good sleeping music and I'll be listening when all of sudden a bad lyric will come on and jolt me out of midway slumber so I have to wake up and yell "What the hell are you saying?!" at my speakers.

For example "I don't want to let you down, so I'm going to buy you a house and a dog and I'll try to stick around". Thanks Josh- you know, for trying to stick around and lumping me with a dog and a mortgage. I will try not to brain you with a frying pan when I see you.

The unexpected anger doesn't make for such good sleeping music.)

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh Coldplay ban, right. Difficult. Much much more difficult than I thought it would be. So right now until.. I think Saturday- I'm on a media blackout- no tv- no radio- just RnB playlists [I'm rocking the hell out of 'Thats the way love goes' by Janet] and definitely no facebook photos. Dear God, please have mercy on my soul and have none of my 139 friends post any pictures since they are all collectively apparently going, or at least make me strong enough so that I can ignore facebook for... two months or something.

And you know, I only have one more day of work where I have to stand outside like an idiot- so hopefully the bartender will feel like some operatic arias instead? fingers crossed.

Then on Sunday I can uncurl myself from this position, look up to the sky and yell "I missed it! so what? So what?! I made it!"

[It's 6:19 now- they will mount the stage at 8. Sigh. They will probably start with Life in Technicolor actually. Crapcrapcrapcrap. I will turn off the computer clock so I don't torture myself all night. Sunday night seems like a long way to go]