Fifteen minutes

"And there's gold falling from the ceiling of this world
Falling from the heartbeat of this girl"
-And the boys, Angus and Julia Stone

For the last two years, I feel like I've been continuously running. Running to and from what I'm not really sure of. At least I've sort of run to a point in my life where I'm reasonably happy and reasonably content. But I guess if I slow down and stop for two seconds, I can see that's what missing is safety. I like my life and all but I don't feel safe. If I stop running, I can see that this highstrung tightrope that I've concocted is a nothing- it's a piece of string and I have a long way to fall down.

For fifteen minutes last night and for the first time in such a long time, I felt safe. That it was okay for the world to be scary and messy and complicated because nothing for those fifteen minutes was going to happen. I was enveloped in something I can't explain.

Of course when I woke up and went outside, the world was beautiful. This morning I'm a little bit more okay, I'm still running for my life but it's just not as terrifying.