When I'm getting out of the car, when I'm kneeling next to her desk- she'll cup her hand around her elbow and help me to stand. I've never had anyone do this for me before! Besides of course when I'm drunk/skating/ or skiing. I don't know why she does it, it could be because she thinks I'm a giant galumphous who'll fall on her or maybe she's just naturally really really nice. I prefer to think that it's because she's really really nice.
And also, this which has nothing to do with anything, she's really good looking- and naturally good looking. No help at all from make up or anything else. And her hair just falls in pretty waves and so every morning when she comes in with her coffee- I hate her just a little bit but then she says hi and is all smiley and I don't hate her anymore. I wonder when I'll get over it. I haven't seen her have a bad hair day in over a month. Some people have all the luck.
[Ok, I'm just feeling resentful because my hair is black and short and I look like this
Without the green eyes obviously. No contacts. Stupid hairdresser. I don't hate Aveda. I love her. I'm just jealous because the chances of her ending up with a buttercup bowlcut is minimal to none.]
So I had dinner with Lighto tonight, the first one in seriously over a year and a half. How odd to be sitting across from the guy and have talked to him for a good hour and think "I don't know the boy!". On the surface he is still the same, he's goofy and funny and easy to talk to but after talking to him for a bit [and I don't know if I just caught him on a bad day] but he's so much angrier. I'm not even sure what to attribute that to.
So I'm driving him to the city and he's roadraging! Taxis, pedestrians, other cars. I turn to him and say dude! relax! [Haha. I told someone else to relax. Haha]
At one point during the night, he said "I hate people." and I could only look at him and say "if that includes me, you're walking home." He had to laugh at that.
What happened to the happy-go-lucky Lighto that I knew? This one is not sleeping and overworking himself to death. If I could I'd wave a wand and send him to a tropical island for some recuperation. I hate to see him like this.
---
Some weeks ago, I had an argument with Lucifer. And I said to him out of maternal concern "Stop drinking in front of the fucking camera. You are going to get caught, you stupid fuckhead"
[I meant it nicely! really!]
and he said to me "what are you talking about?"
"Look, you alco. You are going to get fired if you don't stop bombing wild turkey and cokes for everyone to see"
He looked at me all hurt like I had kicked a kitten in the shins and said "My tooth hurts. I'm drinking to numb the pain. People do that with sore teeth. Is that all right with you?"
"People rub brandy on their gums, you moron. They don't chug bourbon for pain!"
"Oh whatever, I don't appreciate you calling me an alco. AND I don't drink that much at work."
"Yes you do, and if you don't stop- you will get your ass fired and you will be a forty year old with a drinking problem in a welfare house."
He gave me that hurt look again and ignored me for the rest of the day. God, I hate it when people don't listen to me.
A couple of days ago, one of the supes mentioned that when Lucifer got back from his holiday- he would be fired for drinking in front of the camera. And all I could say to that was Le Sigh.
I was half asleep last night when Campbell started talking about Lucifer and she says "He told me he likes you"
"Oh. A blind man who lives in a box with no light in Cuba also told me the same thing."
I started to drift off back to sleep.
"Don't be a smartarse. He also said that he's starting to stop liking you, because you're too hard to understand."
That woke me up. "Oh really? Thank God. All this time I was mean to him so he would quit it and all I had to do was be complex. Men."
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