This Saturday, I'm having dinner with Sb's friends. It will be the first time I've seen them since November. I'm just going to eat and not answer any questions.
When they ask me "So are you and SB...?"
Me: Grhgerjwhd *stuff my face with ribs
Her: Hey, you've let your eyebrows go!
Me: hiuhihloihuhu. hu..hu.. *chews frantically
Her: Long time no see! Where've you been?
Me: Rarrrfrarrffrarrrff [Translation: I've been around]
Her or him: Well I'm glad you guys made it!
Me: Erk. *Chokes to death on bone and dies.
----- Later on in Heaven..
Me: Well thanks a lot God for getting me out of that awkward situation. Do you think you could've tried something a little less extreme? like a kitchen fire or a thunderstorm instead of my DEATH?
God: Well it got you out of any more questions didn't it?!
Me: True that. Amen#.
---
#This is a fictional story, I do not intend to die on Saturday night, especially not on a bone. If I die, it's going to be in the middle of a giant orgasm or in my sleep [or both] and I would probably not talk to God like that, because he might zap me for talking to him so disrespectfully. I am sure I will have fun. Um, if I don't have fun- I will eat. And eat. And eat.
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