Play Ball!

So Bear and I were messing around in the cafe yesterday and we thought we would amuse ourselves by talking in code. However at the conversation went on it became less of a code and more of a really longwinded sports metaphor.

Me: The ball is in his court!

Bear: Yes, it is in his court. You are no longer holding the ball

Me: I don't want to hold the ball!

Bear: Well, he's holding the ball and he's going to woink you in the face with it!

Me: So we're playing dodgeball? I haven't been woinked in the face yet

Bear: No, the balls are whizzing right past your head

Me: ..

Bear: You're in the game! This is a game!

Me: What game??

Bear: Whether you like it or not, you're in the game! And I'm the audience.

--At this point, a co-worker walks by and gives us funny looks

Me: Oh, so you're on my side?

Bear: Yes, but I think to some degree he's right as well.

Me: You make a crappy spectator, how can you just switch sides like that??

Bear: I'm a uninvolved spectator, I can switch sides anytime I want, but don't worry I'm cheering for you!

Me: Well thanks. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do. I've never played this game before.

Bear: I can see. You think you're playing tennis but actually you are playing dodgeball. You are standing in the middle of the field not knowing which game you're playing. There are things flying by your head and you look puzzled!

Me:.. Well I'll find out next week won't I? Next week will be half time!

Bear: Or second innings. Hopefully, for you there will be no second innings.

Me: Game called on account on rain!*

Customer [confused]: Boy, you two are quite the sports nuts!

*Yes, this is how we talk at work. We have to find new ways to amuse ourselves