I'll be honest back way when (and yes, this is pop culture blasphemy) I didn't really enjoy Mean Girls. I mean it was a nice enough movie and there were a few smiles raised but I didn't rabidly want to quote it (stop trying to make fetch happen), rewatch it and Lindsay Lohan certainly didn't ping my radar.
In other words, while every saw her as the second coming of Julia Roberts, I was kind of meh.
Fast forward 5 to 6 years, several car crashes, rehab stints and multiple arrests later and I am still meh on La Lohan.
I am meh, but I can't stand the Lindsay vitriol that thrives on the internet so here I vent. One visit to the Celebitchy forums and a glance shows you that people are calling her the Cracken or talking about she's ruined her face or joking how she's been passed around (what hilarity) or what kind of STDs she has from being passed around. It's like the done thing to do to kick her in the head from the comfort of a keyboard.
To step in her shoes for a second (and I don't really want to be in them, Louboutins though they may be), if I was a 23-26 year old girl (or whatever age she was when her breakdown started) and I started reading on the internet that people thought I was a hopeless junkie and that my face was melting off /not heading in the direction that they liked, I would probably be driven to drink as well (actually no, I'd have a needle permanently situated in my arm- a heroin drip). In fact, I'm not sure how many of us could take that kind of criticism day in and day out and still be a reasonably well-adjusted person.
I mean the withering Liz and Dick reviews are just the tip of an iceberg. But (and I say this with utter exasperation) it was a Lifetime production, who the heck acts well in a Lifetime show, what kind of Shakespearean dialogue are you expecting? It caters to middle aged housewives and people who are bunking off sick for the day. If you google Lifetime, the first tv show that comes up is called an Amish Murder. Really. So did it deserve the panning that it got in comparison to 'Murder on her Mind' and 'Last Chance Cafe'? Come on, it's Lifetime. Please stop kicking Lindsay on her way out.
Which brings me to: yes, she really doesn't come off too good in the personality department. She runs into things constantly, she kidnaps people for fucks sake, she's frequently caught stealing jewellery, she is terrible at commitments and couldn't turn up to something on time if the US was depending on it to stop a war. She is one hairs breadth from having a permanent home in LA County Jail. She is like your fuck-up kid sister that won't stop doing the wrong thing.
But that doesn't mean we should chase her around with flaming pitchforks, you understand? It's very iffy territory about what she deserves for her actions. Frankly, it looks like a Lindsay pile-on from this vantage point.
So this is what I want for Lindsay (who most likely is not going to listen to me). Take whatever money you have left and go away. Buy a farm in Missouri, attend a community college, spend some time in a hoodie and thongs, crack open some history books. You don't have anything to prove to anyone and the sooner you realise that the better off you'll be.Your career? It is stuffed so let it go woman. Get out of LA (which doesn't mean you should head to NY either. Try somewhere without paps)
Maybe not a farm in Missouri. Whatever it is, do something more useful than being a moving target for bloggers and commenters hey?
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