Thankful for friends.

Rough patches, rough patches, thesis.

Sooo I needed [yes, needed. Shut up] to go out and flush out three months worth of Britney Spears trivia from my brain. So I do what I do best, I go out and drink really heavily, fling myself around really wildly and then go home and try to sleep it off.

Anyway somewhere during that weekend, I realised [and here's where we get soppy] that I have some really really good friends. I know I've mentioned it before, but it never hurts to mention it again.

Here are the kind of friends I have:

- So I'm out in the club and I'm pretty heavily wasted and I call Lighto and I say.. "Come out!" and he's like "neh.. I'm pretty tired... when are you going home?" and I say "dunno! whee! bye!" [this was around two-ish] and anyway I leave at three thirty and I call him and I'm pretty sure I'm slurring all over the place [I'm a drunk-caller. Eeek] and he said "I'll take you home" and I'm like "you are?" and he said "yeah, I've kind of been waiting up". He was waiting up for me to make sure he could drive me home safely. And it didn't look like it but I almost burst into tears but then I was pretty gone so I think I burst into hysterical pitched giggles instead. [What? my memory is somewhat blurry]

- Mexicana who knew I was feeling somewhat forlorn and alone and took me out to dinner not once but twice and also ran over a roll of bubble wrap with her car with me because I asked her to [she wanted to preserve it for private popping I think] .. You know it's not always the big gestures that make up a friendship, sometimes its the little ones and I can't think of anyone else who would dance with me on a piece of bubble wrap in the middle of a night. You have to go out and find yourself one of those, they're sort of rare.

- And then lastly, there's Lampy whos kind of a new friend of mine. You know lately my self-esteem is bordering near my ankles [those worthless, hopeless feelings] and we arrange to meet and she'll say to me something like "I'm so excited to hang around you" .. or "Lets do this! and this!" or thats she just looking forward to spending time with me, [and really we're not doing anything major like gambling in Vegas, we're just shopping] but she makes me feel 'holy crap, there's someone who's actually excited to see me?!' and I'm sort of thunderstruck by the idea.

So there you are, I have friends that wait for me, friends who are there for me and friends who actually want to see me, and now I'm crying again. The stress has finally broken my brain. Anyway let's just end here with I'm very very grateful.

Dogs are not performance art. People are fuckers.

See this? I'm glad I didn't see this in my local museum because then I would've cried all the way home.

Some numbfucker from Central America saw a stray dog on the street and hired some kids to catch it, he then placed the already sick dog in a museum as an 'art piece' and then placed signs around it telling the viewers not to feed it,.. well of course, if you don't feed something it starves. And so the dog died. In the museum. With people walking around it.

And it makes me so angry I could spit, what the hell is wrong with people sometimes??? What happened to basic human compassion??? and who the hell uses a sick dog as a performance piece?? anyone?!

I really wish that she had enough energy to have bitten his nuts off before she died, maybe karma will get him and he'll be attacked by a pack of wolves on his way to the local park and then while he lays there dying, I hope people walk past him.

Anyway, I'm going to go give Minnie a hug, if you have a pet I hope you do the same.

Gone for the week [Blame lifestyle and media]

This is pretty much my position for the next week. Its the last week of my thesis, so Ms Spears and I will be joined at the hip for the next five or so days, unless something reallllllly interesting happens I'm probably not going to post til then. [I really do think that pic is fricking adorable, I hope its not photoshopped..]

Until then, adios amigos! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

People are feeling ultra violent

So here's a picture of me looking mournful. My entire weekend was dominated by fights- not by me of course but I got to watch some of them [as far as I know, it was not a full moon, mercury was not in retrograde]. I'm only going to detail some of them because well some of them are very long and I heard that most people will only read the top five percent of webpages? So I'm thinking you people will not even finish to the freaking bottom [Am I bitter? Just a little]

So the first fight [none of this is embellished by the way- God's honest truth]

So me and Mexicana were walking down the street in Chinatown when we passed some stacks of free newspapers, and then Mexicana thought it might be good to take some home for Yuki to pee on. As M grabbed a stack, this old lady sitting next to the newspapers said "What are you doing??!"
M: Grabbing newspapers?
Old bag: Put them back!

So anyway she puts them back, and I am outraged. 'Those are free newspapers! Those are not her newspapers! Its your democratic right to take them! *launches into a lecture about free markets" and she goes "You're right!" [Y'know when I'm right, I'm right] so she goes back and takes a stack and we walk away. As we start to walk away this eighty year old launches herself at us and attaches herself to Mexicana's wrist.

I'm struggling to get her hands off her wrist and so I think [ping!] that I'll just grab Mexicana's other wrist and I'll just pull her away- no such luck. Me and this old lady ended up tug of warring Mexicana down the street, well sort of.. it was a bit of an uneven tug of war because obviously I'm stronger than an eighty year old woman half my weight. So anyway I'm yelling "let go! let go!" and she's yelling
"NEWSPAPERS! THEY'RE STEALING NEWSPAPERS"

Finally Mexicana says to me "Ow. My arms hurt. Let go, take the newspapers to my car and I'll peel her off" so off I trot to her car.. doop.. doop.. doop..

When I come back five minutes later, that bag is still connected to her arm! But by now they are surrounded by people gawking at the spectacle, some of them are actually yelling at the old bag and I wonder how long this is going to go on for. Finally, a very nice man steps forward and says "Grandma, grandma please let go" and she does, but not before continuing to screech like a banshee after we leave... something about disrespect and youngsters and stealing..
Poor Mexicana's wrist.

The second fight happened later that night while we were out, I wasn't there exactly when it happened so I'll just recreate it talk-talk style
Chris: [takes Toms hat] Lookie here! I have your hat
Tom: Give that back
Chris: [waves it over his head] Suuuuuure. I'll give it back for twenty dollars
Tom: Give it back.
Chris: [starts flicking it in his face] Woo! Woo! Woo!
Tom: ....... [Wa-dunk- which is the sound of his fist in Chris' face]

And thus ruined the night for everyone, especially Chris and his nose.

Then! On another day...

A customer decides to order a double wild turkey and coke off me. So I hand him the drink at the poker table and walk back to the counter where the bartender asks me "was that a double?".. rolling my eyes profusely.. I decide to take out another nip in a shot glass just in case he noticed his double was a little ... weak...
Turns out I didn't have to do much, he was already distracted by his girlfriend tugging out at his arm. 'Cooooome hoooooome' she whined and he said 'later' and this is when she skitzed out and backhanded his entire set of chips across the table. Ker-freaking-ploosh. And I'm still standing there behind him with a shot glass not knowing what to do with it. She then sits down on his chair and starts to cry while everyone stares dumbfoundedly. Ummmm... ahhhhhh... what should I do? Finally I tap him on the shoulder and say as politely as I possibly can
M: Excuse me? I know this is a realllllly bad time.. and you're quite distracted but the drink I brought you only has one shot in it.. here is the other one. Enjoy!" And then hustled off. It's freaking exemplary customer service.

See? That's only three- there was about another three or four I haven't mentioned yet. And I will not mention, for fear of you people going 'Is that all you do all day?? watch fights?!'' [but yes, that's all I did all weekend]

I finally meet my nemesis

Previously, I don't know if I've mentioned that was there this girl in Sb's nursing home [she's an actual girl, not an 85 year old drooler] who Sb and his friends thought looked exactly like me. Anyway she and Sb developed some sort of complicated relationship which featured the words 'unrequited love' and 'star-crossed lovers' and 'girlfriend that gets hits by a bus because Cupid has ordained her to bugger off and stop getting in the way'. At any point, if you've seen me sometime in the last few weeks I've probably mentioned her in some form or another.

"Sb is in love with my twin"

"My twin is in love with Sb"

"My life is a freaking soap opera! *breaks down into sobs"

Hahaha.. no it wasn't really that, it was kind of a cool bemusement and a topic I could play with at the dinner table [what? there's only so many times I can tell the joke .. what did Sushi A say to Sushi B? WassssssupBi! [Wasabi... geddit? geddit? Blame Mexicana for that joke] ]

Anyway I mentioned to Lighto last week and he said "Why don't the four of us have dinner?" and I burst out laughing "We'll be the table of death stares, She'll be glaring at me, Sb will be glaring at you, and birds will stay away for a 5km radius because our death aura is too overpowering.. also everyone will throw drinks at each other"

So after a few months of horrible mind-bending curiosity, Sb finally brought some photos for me to see.

Here we are, I don't know what is wrong with my paint program but she came out in black and white, and I'm sorry but this photo of her is limited cos this world is small and I think if Sb finds out I'm posting her pic on my blogs he will make me sleep on the couch for the next sixteen months]



What is that???! How is that alike??! We're not even mildly similar! [Unless you count the all asians-look-the-same theory] I'm sorry but in the privacy of my own home I'm going to go into a severe rage dance complete with flailing arms. Yes, her cheeks are much more prominent than mine and my face is flat- thanks for pointing that out.

Whatever- Tomorrow I'm going to take Sb for an eye checkup. Twins? bah, not even in the same genetic code.

Off to Japan we go!

So we've extended our trip to Japan, I'm actually a bit worried about the extending of the hotel.. I mean what if we have to end up sleeping in a capsule or something?? [Getting in at nine thirty at night, being locked up in this thing til nine in the morning. Did I mention I'm claustrophobic??]

So things I want to do in Japan:

Do some jellyfish watching in Enoshima.

Buy a freaking hello kitty toaster

Go to Disneyland

Buy [clean] underwear from a vending machine

And obviously I haven't planned this out particularly well because I can't think of anything else I want to do!

Things I don't want to do:

Go to a 'rape' club [um.. gross?]

Eat whale

And do you notice I'm struggling for topics here?? I think the amount of writing I'm doing for my thesis and my new blog [which I'm just doing for fun] are completely draining me for writing about my life. But don't worry my life isn't too interesting at the moment [I swear!]

Jacky and the Thursday night alco run,

This post is dedicated to my friend Saffron who is still waiting for a packet of F-cup tea. I walked past the same shop and realised they are now selling F-cup cookies. Life is good when they have cookies which make your breasts bigger.


I was also thinking of Saffron when the legendary Jacky Cheung came to town. Because her favourite song is 'Kiss Goodbye' and did I mention how much to God I love Jacky Cheung, I seriously want to take him home and chain him to my couch and everytime I want to him sing, I'll.. just pat him on the head. [I seriously think with Damien Rice, Chris Martin and Jacky tied to my living room, it's going to get quiiite full- but I'll manage]



The most hilarious thing was at the beginning of the concert [whoops I typed couch there. ha] when I was holding tickets, people kept tapping me on the shoulder thinking I was a fricking scalper. Do I LOOK like a scalper? Look at this face! *blinks

Anyway Jacky is the most talented singer and I was overwhelmed with emotion everytime he held a note on his a beautiful song. I was especially touched by the dedication songs to his wife and his daughter [Ok, fine forget Chris- I want to marry Jacky so he can dedicate songs to me and I can cry all the time]

By the end of it, I was horrifyingly sad because I knew I would never see anything like this ever again. But then, it was one of the things I wanted to cross off my 'lifetime' list and I'm grateful that I got to see and appreciate someone so talented [he wasn't such a talented dancer, but I'm thinking you can't have a voice like that and dance perfectly too, it wouldn't be fair]
***

Here are photoes of our Thursday night alcohol run





















Look at my hair! It's great! How often do I have great hair?? Anyway these photoes are from Md, I totally stole them from her facebook.

***

I was at work yesterday and they threw me into Star Lounge, the free food section. I was about to vomit from all the plates that were piled up with regurgitated food, who does that?? Either eat it or don't! Don't gleuuuuuuh all over the fricking plates. Towards the end of my shift, they started to run out of dishes, so one lady decided to put her chow mein on a plastic bag. After that, she put her chow mein in the plastic bag and took it away, and I never never never never want to work there ever again, I cannot think of a more depressing place.

So that was my week, for the moment. I think I will post more later.

My mother and her grandchild.

My mum has a ginormous heart and old fashioned sensibilities, it is because of this to my eternal amusement and occasional irritation, she will sometimes misplace me in her affections. To put it simply, I will get lost in the shuffle every once in a while.

When my mum first saw minnie, she was appalled.. she looked at me, looked at Minnie and said "what is that? Is it a rat? If it is, why didn't you get a white one?". I have to tell you that my mum was terrified of dogs and would get up every morning with a piece of cardboard to fend minnie off. It was kind of the action I would do if I saw a dead roach. But anyway, love bloomed and now she actively pats Minnie and gives her treats- effectively Minnie has become her substitute grandchild.

Ring ring-
Mum: I'm coming over, I'll be there in an hour.
Me: Oh you are huh? Umm.. uhhhh....
Mum: What's wrong?
Me: Well, the trainer said that you can't touch Minnie for a while
Mum: .............
Me: just two weeks. We're just trying the less attention technique
Mum: Then I won't come over.
Me: You're not coming over?
Mum: If I come over, I have to pat her, I don't want to confuse her so I'm not coming over.
Me: I thought you were visiting me?
Mum: I'll call you later.

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Last weekend in photoes

It has been the most gorgeous week ever, its just.. summer and I'm gearing up to spend my entire summer bumming at the beach [It will not involve anything else but laying on a towel and doing nothing]

Anyway here are the photoes from last weekend, my phone is finally working but now my computer has a virus .. its technological fun for the whole family!

It was a dinner in a korean restaurant in a back alley. True story.






Those glasses are damn geeky. It's the last time I wear them for a photo.


This is like my favourite shot ever. I love the expression on Sb's face. It says "I'm amused, I have no idea what any of you are doing"




At some point during the dinner, Mexicana morphed into Sadako.




And thats what happens when you don't have to clean up the bbq at the end, you throw things on there to see how well they burn.