Innate Charisma

So one of the questions that keeps my hamster running on its wheels lately is charisma. Mainly that some people got it and some people don't. It's not really an easily attainable quality, and you know I could always do with some [I really am about as dapper as jar of cold cream sometimes]

So how do you get it? Well of course, Google has the answer.. why wouldn't it? Apparently the answer to achieving charisma and likeability is mirroring.

Mirroring. Really? It's that simple?

So I thought I would do a private test -when I went to the interview with my new boss, I followed his body language, when he sat back, I sat back. And then when he moved forward, I moved forward. And I didn't break eye contact once. I think he might've thought I had blinking issues Elmo-style.

And when the second interview came in with the CEO, I did the same thing- backwards.. forwards.. similar hand gestures. Sometime during the conversation she said "Oh John [new boss] likes you very much and so do I!"

Hey! It worked! [We are chalking this up to this mirroring thing and not you know.. my answers to her questions]

But I really didn't think that that was the secret to charisma and likeability. There had to be something else to it.

So I asked Betty. Betty is .. built of charisma and fabulousness. That stuff just leaks from her pores.

Mush: Betty, do you think you have charisma?
Betty: No.
Mush: Er? Ok.

How do I argue with something like that? Well that put a nice end to that conversation but I wasn't finished.

And so on Friday at Coconats Celebration, I was sitting around shooting the breeze with S-Dawg when a waitress came to our table. Immediately, HG [who I hadn't seen for a while] turned around and gave her his full attention. You could just see his charisma start to spike like on one of those EKG charty things, it was seriously something incredible to watch. I didn't even know how he was doing it. He just was.

How depressing to know that there's actually no recipe for it.

So I cornered him later and asked him about it.
Mush: You know you're incredibly charming right? Whats your secret?
HG: Haha! There is no secret.
Mush: Sure, there is. There has to be. Like with the waitress.. how the heck did you do that? And there is no way that was mimickry- because there was no mimickry there. But I think I might imitate you now just to opt some likeability.
[Shifts legs, arms, hands]
HG: You know now I actually feel more comfortable with you, haha! I think it's just smiling and eye contact. And you know I just say what comes naturally.
Mush: ... That's it? Do you know when you're doing it?
HG: Well when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror.. I don't get up and think of myself as charming. That's just weird. And you know sometimes its just about making a connection...

And so the question and the answer come up as inconclusive. What makes some people more likeable than others? Is it a relability thing?? That can't possibly be it.