"Asians for love and marriage"
Underneath the [I admit] fairly attractive but mostly photoshopped pictures were the base details of each one such as:
Heeha
Age: 16
City: Guangzhou
Height:152 cm
Weighs: 45kg
OK I made that one up, but that's exactly what they were like! It's horrifying! It's like selling cattle, and what is with the weight thing? Not looking for an overly obese rice pudding to break you during a lap dance? what is that? And I have never seen any other ads even remotely similar.
Imagine the outroar that would accompany "Muslims for love and marriage" or even "Africans for love and marriage" all done up in cutesy pink font.
I closed that ad, but my curiosity was piqued so I thought I would do some 'research' online
And then "Have you ever thought of an Asian woman? you should! And with our help it can take only [a] few moments to find her, your beautiful Asian bride. your Asian wife"
That is beyond ghastly, thats.... these poor saps are expecting a demure Lucy Liu in an express envelope and I wouldn't be surprised [or particularly worried] if dragon woman Lucy Liu came out of the box and strangled them to death with her magic hair pin and ran off with all their money. Of course, if it happened they kind of deserve it for being so STUPID.
It's too bad they wouldn't let me copy photo's.. because some of them I think.. are d-list celebrity photos. Whoops. Someone wasn't being honest on their application.
And then there's the site which gives tips on how to date asian ladies.
11. In a date, men are expected to pay for dinner, shows and other expenses. Sharing the cost is too advanced manner for her during dating.
[suckers. born. every. minute]
13. Most ladies are too shy to say "I love you". They may say "I like you" instead.
[It might be because she doesn't actually love you, you're so hopeless you need to buy a wife?!]
And then no more tips, if you want more tips you're going to have to buy the book. No joke. The book is $25 US dollars. And answers such niggling questions such as "Do Chinese women find western men attractive?" and "Can I discuss sex with her?".
This site [I'm trembling with glee here] also has men's profiles! And we have pictures!.. ready? ready?
:
:
:
:
:
::
Hey there's K-Fed! Or his vastly poorer counterpart. Wait, no K-Fed doesn't have a moustache. Well ladies, what do you think? Would you like one to buy you home? [Why is it so cold in here? I have shivers].
Guy A up the top doesn't even need his wife to be attractive! or as he puts it "minimal attraction' is required. Perfect for those dates where you have no chemistry at all. And the number of spelling mistakes! I think I will hire out my services to fix up their ads. [careing? intelegent? a little effort please?]
Aww.. come on. Someone help them out with their yellow fever. Someone volunteer. Give them a banana.
And I didn't even pick the worst of them, there's thirty nine pages of these men looking for.. somewhere to put their spring rolls. I had to close it before my eyes rolled straight out of my head.
Too late. *feels around for eyes on computer table.
So anyway what have I learned today?
Well actually I haven't learned anything. I'm still skeeved and grossed out by all of it. All of it! I wish these men the best of luck, hopefully they won't abuse their chinese brides and their brides won't try to stab them in the foot with a satay skewer.
No comments:
Post a Comment