These are not in order by the way.
1. Breast surgery which is not breast surgery is still very expensive. Use health care
2. Men bitch as much as women do, don't believe them when they say they don't.
3. Graphic design class is fun, but ignore the first few lessons when they teach you how to scroll
4. Roaches bounce
5. Sometimes SB's friends don't wash their hands after they pee [dun wipe on your jeans!]
6. "Are you at uni?" is the worst pickup line of all time
7. Don't follow it up with "So you work?", because I will make you cry.
8. No-one [and I have asked about forty people] wants to go to the Easter Show except me, I'm thinking that if I went, it'd just be me alone and a whole bunch of tumbleweeds
9. The 300 is a good film for post analysis shit-kicking, guaranteed to have you and your friends discussing lesbians, hunchbacks and east vs west metaphors [see? now aren't you intrigued?!]
10. Buying a bottle of aloe vera juice on your birthday will result in tears and acrimony.
11. I am the worlds best pictionary player [undisputed!]
12. Two years later, the "violence and civilization" course has the same teacher who is still so boring that he still makes the baby Jesus cry [or at least sleep very soundly]
13. I control the weather by simply saying "Lets go to the beach", it will either result in rain or tsunamis, sometimes both.
14. Verandah bar is too yuppie, even for me. Its Mardi Gras people! Let go!
15. Your fingers in anatomy terms are called the phalanges
16. My hair is black after the first time in eight or so years- back to my asian roots!
17. You can only watch Charlie the unicorn on youtube once, the fourth and fifth time makes your head want to explode
18. When your bf's grandma tells you to stop taking the pill to entrap her darling grandson into marriage, its time for everyone involved to stop watching too much tv.
19. Andy Lau is still hot, but even he can't make me sit through the snooze which is "Battle of the Wits"
20. I don't say this enough but I have the best friends in the world who put up with my neuroses, year in and year out [and they're still here!]
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