There she goes

I hate writing emotionally, because I know that later on when I look back on it I'll see it as cliche and sentimental, but I guess I'm a mush[y] person ..

Lydia Shum aka Feifei died over the weekend and it makes me so sad because I grew up watching her and I feel awful for her daughter who is I bet feeling wretched. Why am I talking about this? You know my theory on circular parallels.

I was recovering on Saturday night [Friday was fantastic, I was happily smushed] and just laying on the couch when my stepdad called and said "something is wrong with your mum, she's dizzy and not remembering and not making sense" [haha, not alcohol induced. Thanks very much]

so I tried talking to her and she said "Why is my phone on this side of my ear? Who are you?" and then hung up on me. Naturally, I panicked, called back and started yelling for my stepdad to take her to the doctor. No dice, she wasn't willing [still stubborn for an amnesiac, I grant] and he wasn't able to leave the restaurant.

After awhile he reported back that she was better, but had blacked out for that three hours.

So when they turned up to my place last night and started discussing buying matching funeral plots [in the shade, lots of grass area] I was speechless. She then produced me a pamphlet on aneurysms.

She said to me "Look, you're old enough for me to let go. I'm very happy to have seen you grow up this far, so if anything happens.. well it happens, death happens". My stepdad didn't say anything, we were both concentrating on random spots in the carpet.

And there was the first possibility that ever occurred to me that my mum is not going to be around forever.