It was only just a dream.

[Yeah yeah I just gave one of the least deserving artists in the world a shoutout.]

Errr.. I'm just going to talk about this dream that I had this morning, it really bothered me and I'm going to start navel gazing about it [but I'm going to cover the names again so that my friends don't start hammering me about my demented subconscious tomorrow if they get past the 2nd paragraph.] so feel free to tune out in 5, 4, 3, 2....

--

So I wake up in the dream [yeah I woke up in the dream- how fricking weird is that? It's a bit backwards] and I'm discombobulated, I'm in a bed in my aunty's house and ☼ is standing over at the end of the bed and he's smiling. I think he says "Wakey wakey."
I'm confused and I look at him, "What are you doing here?"
He laughs and says "Why wouldn't I be here, we're in a relationship!"
And now I'm completely baffled, "uhhhh.... we are?" (no-one's told me that! What the hell!)
He smiles again, "Sure." and then he crosses the room, leans over the bed and kisses me. On the mouth. It's one helluva kiss and when he finishes up.. ummm.. okay I'm convinced! That works for me!
But maybe I should get out of bed yeah? So I swing out of bed and my foot kicks this make-up palette, I pick it up and open it and it crumbles everywhere. I have make-up all over my hands and I've made a mess. I put the palette back on the floor and when I look up he's gone. I figure ☼ went off to another part of the house, I have no idea.

I would look for him but I'm distracted by noise coming from the window. I walk to the window and I can see that the house next door is having a party and ◙ is standing right in my view. I'm not sure if he can see me looking but the next thing I know, his girlfriend runs up to him in this ridiculously beautiful blue dress, wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a hug. And the dress. It's cornflower blue with ruffle straps, a fitted bodice and a flared skirt and she's not beautiful but the dress makes her beautiful if you know what I mean.

He leans down to kiss her and as he does, he opens his eyes and looks at me. He knew I was there the entire time and he still did it. The intent and malice of it takes my breath away and I'm upset, I'm hurt, I'm jealous and most absurdly of all I covet her dress.

I run out of the house barefoot [the make-up is still on my hands] and I make my way to the nearest comic book store where I hide behind the counter and try to bury myself in comic books.

--
You don't really need a psychoanalyst with a specialisation in ridiculously obvious metaphors to see where my head's at.