- A bicycle rider- Don't cut in front of me, you stupid mofo- do you want to die??I am in a giant steel contraption and you are not. I don't want to have to describe to you what two lanes are for. My giant steel contraption is going at a speedy 60kmh and you're taking your stupid bike at what looks like 10kmh, if you cut in front of me and I know you can see me, you are one incredibly moronic bike rider or really the most presumptious dickhead that ever lived. Also your shorts are giving you a wedge and you look stupid.
- A cute little yorkie not on a lead- Dear lady, that dog is a puppy. It's not trained. If it's not trained, the chances of it running onto the road are really really fucking high. Are you aware of how narrow our street is. KEEP IT ON A LEAD I HAVE NO DESIRE TO SQUASH YOUR DOG.
- A pedestrian- Lady, if you see my car coming- don't step in front of it. Just don't. I know you think you are all important and that I'm going to brake for your highness to cross but one of these days there'll be a person that doesn't brake and you're going to be flat stanley. Just sayin'
- A kid chasing a ball- Kid, you are stupid. There's the ball. This is a car. Car. Ball. Car. Ball. Omg, I get that you lack the faculties of consequence because you're a kid. I get it. But ^%&*534*&O^ [At this point I think my head has exploded and is leaking brain fluid]
I'm going to go lay down now as I'm feeling just a wee bit cranky.
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