Zen.

I refuse to participate in this pettiness. I'm going to rise above and beyond it and be zen. Zen. I will continue this zen over the weekend and into next week. I am going to be a frigging lotus rising up above the mud, and everybody is going to admire my newfound serenity, it'll be like Mush v3.5. I will not be bothered by the little people and I will not go around thumping anyone, even though I really want to (oh God, I'm so itching to pick a fight. Zen. Zen. Calm blue oceans.]

And if that doesn't work I'm going to smoke like a chimney and drink myself into a coma. Which sounds like a far more logical and workable plan.