Ah Kanye.

I give you a #kanyeshrug on the whole showing us your bits thing. You're talented! Why do you have to pull out your wang [heehee] to prove that you still exist? Is it to generate sales? Do you really need any more publicity?? You have a lifetime pass simply because the song Jesus Walks is probably one of the best of all time and we will all be singing "Let's have a toast for the douchebags/ let's have a toast for the assholes" under our breaths for the next nine months or more.

Yes, we all know you're a tool. No-one is ever going to mistake you for a nice guy. You're just not the kind that anybody ever wants to have a beer with. But that's ok. You're entertaining in other ways. I read your twitter when I have nothing better to do. Which is often.

But I didn't need to see your wang. I never want to see it again and now I have to go wash out my eyes with hydrochloric acid. Life was so much better when I could pretend you were an asexual Ken doll. I want to focus up there where your head is [because that's where the singing is coming out of, you know?] and not down near your zipline.

If that really isn't yours- then I take this all back. But if it is. For the love of God [and your dear departed Mama watching you from heaven]. Put it away.