Yoghurt Girlfriend

So DS left this gigantic tub of yoghurt at my place and our busy [busy!] schedules meant that likely he wasn't going to come back anytime soon to touch 1kg worth of yoghurt. The stupid tub was looking at me from the fridge so I decided to take it to work with me and try to get a handle around it.

Except that I hate yoghurt.

And it's 1kg worth. I don't know if I should mention that again because it's important that I stress that this tub is almost bigger than my head [My head is not as small as you think.]. To give you a glimpse into my pain and sacrifice, I have been eating from this bucket for three whole days. I am starting to turn a really ghastly cream beige not dissimilar to a mouldy frogurt colour.

My operations manager was watching me struggle to eat it [I am sure I looked like I was having the time of my life.] and she suggested "Why don't you just chuck it out and tell him that you ate it? That's what I would do."

I just replied drily "Kids in Africa don't get yoghurt you know?"

"God, you're such a good girlfriend. Tip it on the floor accidentally or something."

I didn't say anything, I just kept shovelling because if I stopped to think about it I was going to puke, and it would taste passionfruit flavoured.

I looked over at Speedy who was slumped over at his desk.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't feel well. Too much to drink yesterday."

"I have something which will make you feel better."

"What?"

I shove the bucket at him. "Yoghurt. Good for you."

He starts to laugh, "No thanks. I want to see you finish it off."