I finally dreamt this morning, I dreamt that I was in New York and I was wandering around Sephora and when I stepped outside of Sephora, I recognised Central Park but it was just coming towards night time and raining and I started walking towards it and .. I woke up.
I rolled over thinking.. I really really miss New York. I miss the crowds. I miss the anonymity and I just miss the wandering around and the healing that came with it.
I realised as I rolled over again, that it's almost exactly a year that I was there. Thanks subconscious - I've come so far. You're a peach.
She scolded me again this morning: You're not listening to me! He is not worth it and when you see it, you will be fine.
And I think: The same lesson applies yeah? You just don't get over things until you're ready. I don't know about most people.. but I can't just switch love on and off like a tap, I don't even really see how people do that, boggles my brain.
Or alternately, you can push it underneath and ignore it, but you know that stone in your shoe is going to eventually lodge itself right under your foot. So you have to sit there and shake your shoe until it comes out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: It's going to take me a little time to shake out my shoe, I just take a little longer than most I guess. [and also that I miss New York but maybe if I just got into the car and just started driving and driving, the total effect would be the same]
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