So much emotion packed into such a small car

"SHE SAID WHAT? SHE FKN THINKS I DID WHAT?!"

Oh. Oh. I was so mad that I was ready to peg something or somebody into the ocean. I'm not the kind of person who goes off and picks fights [well.. only with random strangers but they don't count] but there's no doubt that sooner or later there was going to be a confrontation, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

I must've sputtered for about ten minutes." How the hell am I.. What the hell.. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT." How the hell am I supposed to see her and not look like I want to belt her across the room???

--

This afternoon Speedy gave me a little self-analysis "You're too transparent. When you're happy, everyone can see it. And when you're unhappy - the entire world knows."

--

Which brings me back to trying to remain cool and collected but clearly failing because I couldn't stop fkn shouting.

We finally parked and I was still mumbling away into my hands when she broke down.

Weeks and weeks of tension came flooding out and she couldn't stop crying.

Between the two of us, one was turning lavender purple with rage and the other was suffocating on her sobs.

We'd been collectively waiting so long for that dam to burst. The point where numbness turns into sorrow.

I think it took her by surprise as well. When it hurts.. it really hurts.