Dude, wear protection.

A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I asked him where he went the night before and he was "I did this bar, and this bar and then we went to the Ivy!"
I think at that point I must've pulled a face and he said "what? what you don't like the Ivy?"
"Not really, that place is full of douches. If you threw a rock into the crowd there, you'd hit a douche."
He laughed and looked at me like I was seven years old. Anyway.

So last night [while there, natch] while in a line to get up the stairs [yeah, there's a line for the stairs. It's really stupid.] there was a guy behind me on the phone talking really loudly and this is what I mean when I say douches.

"YOU MUST GET AN ABORTION! I don't want no kid! Do you hear me?? An Abortion! Get an abortion! NAO!"

This is all while the music is slowly getting louder and louder. Everyone around us is either dancing or swaying. Saint Mary and I are dying to turn around and get a look at this guy.

"I TOLD YOU. YOU'RE NOT KEEPING IT AND I DON'T WANT IT."
He's quiet for thirteen seconds while I presume she's pleading for the life of her unborn child or something before he kicks her down the stairs which are not the ones we are lining up for.

"AN ABORTION! YOU ARE GETTING AN ABORTION!"
Ok, I can't do it anymore. I'm going to pass out from curiosity. Even if God wants to turn me into a pillar of salt- I pay that. I turn around to see this fairly young mediterranean looking guy [uh.. twenty three?] in a white collared shirt being led away by his friends, they've given up on the line and are heading to the bar. Apparently he needs a drink!

I'm going to need a drink after recapping that. And probably a neck brace because I just can't stop shaking my head in consternation. Is it too much for him to get a passout and take the call outside and not in the middle of an extremely busy and crowded club? Especially when it possibly involves him paying child support for the next eighteen years? And her?! If you can barely hear him over the music or if he sounds possibly like he might be getting a wee bit drunk, and you want to keep the child.. you might want to pick a better time to tell him. Like in the daytime. In person. You might want your partner to have a little clarity when talking to him about life-altering decisions.

In sum, he's a complete asshole, she has atrocious timing and we should all wear protection because there but for the grace of God go you.

[Hey you! If you're reading this- then I was right! So many assholes!]