What happens in a bathroom stays in a bathroom

X whispers in my ear. " Come with me to the bathroom" and like a good friend I comply. I always assume bathroom accompaniment actually means accompaniment. Apparently I am also hopelessly naive.

Once we get to the bathroom he backs me up against the wall.

X: You are driving me crazy. I want you bad.
Mush: Hey.. what? say what? How come? what?
X: I've wanted you for such a long time
Mush: No, you haven't! You. are. drunk.
X: Yes I have
And he leans in closer and he is radiating heat and I am getting dizzy. My hormones are yelling things at me. I have to take control.
Mush: [pushes him slightly away] you have never ever shown the slightest interest in me. Not since we have known each other. I don't believe you for even a second. So.
X: [gestures towards the cubicle.] If I get you in there, this is what I'm going to do to you ..
[.. mentions all these things that make me blush.]
Mush: Oh boy. Uhm. Don't do this to me. I haven't had sex in a year. I have no willpower.
X: [smiles]
Mush: Ethics! Morals! What about eX-girlfriend??
X: I never cared about her. I don't care about her.
Mush: [oh fuck, friendships will be ruined if this goes ahead. No. no. no. This is something that can never ever be taken back. I'm going to do the right thing. My vagina is booing me.] Uhm.

Two friends bust in

Two friends: Well hello! Are we interrupting something?!
Mush: No. Not at all. X was just going to go to the bathroom.