Superannuation and my beneficiary money

So as we were sitting down to dinner last night, my mum passed me some letters and one of them was from my superannuation company.

When I opened it, I was pleasantly surprised that my actual superann had reached 5 [5!] digits and my death insurance was $148,802 dollars [I'm worth more money dead than alive. How sad.]

and oh, my first beneficiary is my mum on 65% and SB is still on there at 35%. And sometimes I have to practice timing when speaking out loud at the family dinner table.

Mum: He's still your beneficiary??? Why???? Why?! WHY.

In all honesty, I'm just lazy to show up at the superannunation company because I don't think they'll do it over the phone for legal reasons.. and I just keep forgetting to do it.. and.. and..

Mum: Why benefit him for? Why not benefit me!

Me: I'm not dying soon... I don't think. Hey, you're getting a share!

Mum: That's not the point. If he gets that money, he will spend it on that... that.. woman. [I love the disgusted tone, haha.]

I think my mum has visions of him showering her in furs and then taking her out and buying her seventy five hundred tins of truffle and abalone with my death money. They will yell "I'm rich" and roll around on my insurance benefits like Scrooge McDuck and Scrooge McDuckette, which is funny and macabre and so very very wrong.

Of course, she's right. I don't even want to give her a rotten chicken drumstick and if I ever see her and I'm coincidentally holding a rotten chicken drumstick, I might just peg it at her head. But then that would just be waste of rotten chicken drumstick. [Or not.]

Ok, so my mum is right. I need to change it in case I get run over tomorrow by a bus and not be such a lazy smurf.

Mum [still talking]: You could give it to anyone! Someone! Heck, name your cousin Matty!

Matty: I'll take it!

Me: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! Gawd!

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