Last night.

*Sorry I am deleting and re-leting things. Something just happened. And I'm a bit stunned so I have to go and think about it for a bit. But not about what an idiot I am. I guess I'm going to keep this post since it's about nothing. I hope your rss feeds didn't just go crazy.

Well I certainly was mope-a-licious last night and a good chunk of this morning. Aren't you glad I snapped out of it?

So last night I was abandoned, cranky and hungry and I was not a happy camper when I logged on to msn. As I sat there, some movement caught the corner of my eye on the desk.

Fucking Campbell left the window open and now a big fat cockroach was trundling its way across my table.

Did you forget I'm phobic? I'll remind you that I'm phobic to the point of incapacitation. I had no phone credit so there was no way I was going to call someone to save me. And who the hell is going to save me here? They can't find parking!

So as I'm backing backwards for the spray, the mofo keeps walking and he starts walking to my goddamn keyboard!! I scream at the top of my lungs 'Get away from my motherfucking keyboard!' Or course it's kind of pitchy so it probably sounded more like 'Grrrawwwayyyykeeeeboddddd!', By some miracle of sonar hearing, he hears and goes around the keyboard. And I keep spraying.

He keeps walking. He starts to head toward my Hello Kitty vibrator [which by the way, feel free not to ask why it was on the table in the first place], and once again I'm squealing bordering hysterics 'You CAN'T TOUCH THAT. THAT'S IMPORTED.' By another miracle of God and sonar hearing, he swerves it, falls off my table and heads towards my bookshelf. Oh crap. Fuck.

Where he proceeds to clamber my books going vertically across. I do not know why. And I'm still spraying. And my Pratchetts are wet with chemicals and my Evanoviches have been contaminated. And I'm leaking tears at the thought of how many books have been ruined by him and me.

And none of this would be happening you know if I'd just grown up phobic of sharks and snakes like the rest of the world. And lucky for you buggers, how many sharks and snakes do you see in everyday life? That's right. None.

So anyway, I've exhausted my can of spray and I'm standing rather dully against the wall watching him deathspaz his way across my living room and right into under my couch. That's right. Under my couch. At least have the decency to die where I can see you so I can vacuum you after I've injected myself with adrenalin for shock. But of course, cockroaches have no decency which is why they are cockroaches.

I wonder what the neighbours thought I was screaming at. Pratchett! Keyboard! Hello Kitty!

And then two minutes later, when I'm slightly more collected. The phone rings. I was hoping it would be a good call. It was not.

A: Hullo? *staticky. staticky.

Mush: Hullo? Who the heck?

A: It's Ant [my designer, whose ass I've been covering for for six weeks].. how are you?

Mush: I'm great. No need to get into details. What's up.

A: My visa has expired and I can't return to Australia yet, they won't let me on the plane.

Mush: Excuse me? I'm mishearing you because I think I just heard you say that YOU ARE NOT BACK YET.

A: I'm really sorry.

Mush: You're sorry. I'm dying here. I am overloaded with work up to my eyeballs. Easter long weekend is coming up. The chances that I'm sleeping over on Thursday night is high.

A: I'm really really sorry. Please let the boss know.

Mush: Do you have any idea when you will be back?

A: I have no idea, I have to go to the embassy tomorow.

M: ............

And thus I hung up, and then the guilt set in. Well fuck. I just kicked a guy when he was down. I officially felt like shit. Abandoned, cranky, hungry, phob-ey and now guilty.

The next day came [which is today and now I can completely confuse the holy moly out of past and present tense] and I was a little more calm. The cockroach was dead. I can handle the workload. I was no longer hungry.
I walked into work and Egg2 said 'Hey cutie' and that's all I really needed to feel better. A sign of affection. An hour later, his phone rang and he walked out of the office. When he walked back in, he gave me an instant IM.

Egg2: I got the job! I start next Tuesday.
Mush: That's great! Congratulations! [You're going to leave me! here! and right now I'm fighting really hard not to burst into tears and hold onto your leg like a baby!]
Egg2: Are you ok?
Mush: Never better. I'm really happy for you.