High Points, low points

I received a text this afternoon [paraphrased]: I'm so normally in control, but I don't feel like I have any at the moment.

Myabe I worry too much lately, I automatically had images of her getting in a punch-up. I was mentally ticking off hospitals in my head when I dialled her back.

Me: Are you ok?!
She: [beaming sunshine over the phone] yes, I'm in love.
Me: *blink blink* You're in what?
She: I think I'm in love.
Me: That's.. great!.... You scared the holy fkn bejeesus out of me.

I'm really happy for her but I'm going to personally need a hospital if people keep sending me messages without context.

--

While I've been on a fairly even keel lately, even I can't keep up the whole Pollyanna thing 247. I still have my low points and I've think I've been lucky that they've been relatively brief. Off the top of my head they were:
1# The rock throwing outing. Seriously nothing can really make you feel worse than feeling like you can't throw a stupid pebble properly.

2# The great email hack. I [don't ask me how] managed to get back into my work email to find my copy and my emails had been deleted and were completely irretrievable. I get that it's ridiculous sentimentality on my part but I still get a little lump thinking about it so.moving on right away.

And then yesterday. Yesterday! Now that I have some perspective and hindsight you know it's kind of funny but I was going to seriously meltdown into my rice noodles at the time.

I was at yum cha with my parents, my two aunties and uncle. I thought it might be a good time to bring up going overseas with them. As it turns out, I didn't really get to say much because all at once the five of them started squabbling. about me and what I should do with my life. Not ordinary squabbling. Asian squabbling. Death by argument.

[I'm just going to randomly number everyone because I can't even remember who wanted what now]
1#: She should break her lease now and go home. She should go home.
2#: She doesn't want to leave her apartment, she's going to go work in a coffee shop to tide things over.
1#: Why would a girl with her degrees go back and work in a coffee shop?? That's just stupid
2#: She can manage a restaurant! I know someone!
3#: She should go on holiday for two weeks
1#: So therefore break the lease!
2#: And where the heck is all her furniture going to go? She has to come back to something.
3#: She'll buy a storage shed and put it in my yard.

I'm not joking about any of this conversation and it went back and forward for a good forty minutes [just to be clear, I'm not buying a storage shed]. I just kind of sat there and stared at them and was starting to feel really really sorry for myself

Occasionally someone would remember that I was there and would say:

Mush, what do you want to do?

And before I could open my mouth to say "San Francisco" .. someone would answer for me! And on and on it went until they actually wearied themselves out and of course, came to no conclusion. The world's longest and most torturous lunch. The Guantanamo Bay of yum cha.

As we were leaving [and holy crap, was I glad to be leaving! I almost broke into a run.] my stepdad patted me on the shoulder, "you know, you can come home anytime. We'd be happy to have you." And it's nice to know that if everything bottoms out, there are still my parents. They are still my parents.

I think I will know in less than a month whether San Francisco [God, those four syllables. Roll them over your tongue.] is a viable option. At the moment I'm sitting knee-deep in a pile of my books, if I had known that I was going to be doing so much moving in my adult life, I probably would have been smarter and not bought so many (although would Past Mush have listened? Probably not.).