Comfortable Love

**Before I start anything I have to give a massive big shout out to the Chatswood Chase Security Guard who let me out of the carpark when I lost my ticket. There are still good people out there!

I don't know how the subject changed to love.

H: Love is.. love doesn't matter anymore after a while. In the end passion goes, and you're left with comfort.

M: Wait. Don't you love your husband?

H: I don't know.

M: ...

H: I know what we have is comfortable. I don't know if I love him.

M: But.

H: I honestly don't.

M: But what about at the beginning? weren't you in love??

H: No, never. I never had the in love feeling with him . I was always comfortable and I always liked him. However it wasn't an all consuming love. You know how falling in love is supposed to be like the ocean? Well these are ripples..

M: And does he feel the same way about you?

H: I think so.

M: ...

H: It was what I wanted after the first two relationships failed. It's just comfortable love. And it's strong and stable. [Gestures towards Little H] And anyway, after you've had a kid, she becomes the most important thing in your life. More important than your partner.

[pause]

H: Maybe that's what you should look for. Comfortable love.

Is that crazy? She really is happy in her life and in her marriage. And that's one way I guess to go about avoiding disappointment. But I don't think I could do that. Because I want to not only be liked, but I want to be loved. I wanted to be loved in a heart-crushing, head-pounding, can't-do-without-me kind of way. I want him to at one point to say "I cannot live without you." And to feel exactly the same. And if I cannot find this kind of love then I would rather do without.

Which leads me I guess back to, that there possibly isn't this kind of love out there and I've been spun around by movies and novels and I will possibly eventually end up alone dreaming my violet coloured dreams.

These are the chances you take.