So I'm sitting on the edge of the pool last night [It was a pool party, I thought I should get out more] next to Ms Smith. And I was just staring into the distance, not being the life of well, anything. W squeezed in front of me to talk to Ms Smith and suddenly I was not staring at pool, I was staring at the back of her shoulders. If I leaned forward I could have headbutted her into the water.
She picked a really bad moment to get into my personal space.
And so I iced it up as only I can do "W, I don't know if you realise it but I'm still sitting here."
"Oh sorry Mush, I was trying to squeeze you out." she [half?] joked.
"Clearly."
She moved back awkwardly and tried to talk over me to Ms Smith, but it was probably not that much fun with me glaring at her. Oh, for fucks sake- if you want to talk to her so badly- she actually has another side to her body. You could try sitting on her left hand side, and then talking to her would not involve leaning over me. Look the left hand side has metres and metres of space!
Two more minutes of withering looks and she gave up and disappeared inside. And then all of a sudden I was exhausted, and it occurred to me that getting worked up over someone as trivial as W was pointless. I was not in the right mood for this and I was definitely not pool party material. I didn't belong there and I wanted to go home.
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