Apply to reapply

And this is how I know I'm turning into my mother.

In the car I turn around to Campbell and say "sunscreen?" and she refuses.

When we get to the beach, I offer it to her again. Nope.

We're on the Bronte walk and I give her a "put the sunscreen on" lecture and she breezily replies "Don't worry, I won't burn" [I have on good authority that she will burn because you know I've seen it.]

And then this triangle pink patch starts forming on her shoulder like the beginnings of the Bermuda Triangle.

Lady, you are roasting! And now she starts to believe me.. so she obediently applies.. but I'm thinking it's too late.

She looks concernedly at her shoulder. I think I'm burnt. This is your fault. And then I turn into my mother: I TOLD YOU TO APPLY! and if you complain to me about how much it hurts, I'm going to push you over the insanely pretty cliff.

I hate you. I hate you more.

We head to the beach where I flop over onto my stomach and start reading and Campbell sits on her towel and starts people watching. Our snark radars are up, so we talk about bad tattoos, people's bodies and of course, the sunburn. There are a lot of people with really really bad tanlines.. it's like they're wearing two shirts. Good thing that we ourselves are not burnt right?

I shove the sunscreen at her, your thighs. And she says no worries, I'll just sit on my legs so that they don't get burnt. Okay then.

And she looks okay. Until we get home. Where her sunburn shows up. It looks like pink pizza patterns have been applied all over her body. And she starts freaking out.

AHHHHHH..! AHHHHHHHH..! Oh My God. What happened?! You burnt me!

I know it's really mean but I can't stop laughing. I applied the sunscreen on you! I wasn't randomly slapping you! I told you!

And then she looks down at her thighs which have started turning salmon fresh. And the screaming begins anew.

AHHHHHHH! You killed me! I'm never going outside ever again!

I've never seen anyone drive so fast for a dosage of aloe vera.

I think possibly the two of us [well her more likely] are going to stay out of the sun for a while, and for all my lecturing the bridge of my nose really hurts. I hope it's not sunburn. I only do a passable Rudolph imitation.