Oh my poor neglected blog [Photo update..hurrah!]

*point fingers.

Not my fault. eek.

Anyway I thought I would just post some random photos from my time in Melbourne [including my beloved cow in a tree] .. not much has happened Dennis Rodman almost whonked me in the head [he was flailing], I'm still looking for a job.. but other than that life is quiet.
I don't know if that's a good thing. Oh, also I saw my cousin's girlfriend on tv- that sort of made my day [well I haven't won lotto yet! things like that make my day. Shut up]

I mean the bulk of my thoughts are .. should I buy this bag online? should I eat this chip? where should I go for my next holiday? Truly, I'm getting shallower as I get older.

Anyway photoes.





See? one of the many reasons I looooove Melbourne is that everywhere you go [especially in the CBD] there'll be just be random sculptures, you're always surrounded by art. You can't see it properly but he has two similar man friends behind him and also I love his expression.. its sort "Ooh... Prada bag!"



I know I look pregnant, but I'm not. Blame the dress.



I'm sorry, I just need to camwhore my extensions. I love my extensions. My hair now looks so blah, healthy but blah.




Its as happy as you can get with a giant fan





Even the toilets are multi coloured. Hows that for dedication?



I don't know who owes who what. But this is quite cool, and there were two art students trying to get their reflections on film. Actually you can see him in the I.



Being attacked by a giant rabbit, it can only happen to me [and also to the knights in the holy grail.. yes, spamalot was playing while I was there.. why do you ask?]




Aww.. so cute.



I think working in this building would make me happy.Its rainbow coloured!



And in case the postie misses it, the building number is 60. Actually all the numbers on this street are like that. Its pretty cool for the near sighted postmen/women and for me. I want one except there's no way it'd fit in my yard.


EEE! Cow in tree!



And there's his butt. Coolest butt ever.
I actually had to wait a bit before taking these because there was a conglomerate of teenagers camped around the tree, with backpacks and everything. I don't know why. Maybe the cow calls people to join it or something. Cow cults? I think they have those in India. Anyway



It really just boggles my mind how effort goes into designing buildings in Melbourne. I don't really like this building but I can appreciate what they're trying to do. I can't remember what the effect was called but it has something to do with straightlines and colour windows creating an optical illusion. Its not my favourite but its still awesome.



Hee. Apparently I'm five and a half. I think it's supposed to be a woman. Well, I think. Her face is kind of masculine, but she has the appropriate womanly bits.. so maybe the sculptor was trying to make a point about androgny? The owner of the cafe came out to look at me the tee-heeing tourist. Whoops.



I didn't take a photo of the shop, but there's a shop in Melbourne called Lord of the fries and they do fries in every sauce you can think of- this is mayonnaise, tomato sauce and garlic onion and I am drooling just thinking of it. The twisties I'm eating now are not really any comparison. Well they are zig zag twisties and they're pretty nice but still no comparison



Another random mural on the street.



And inside the crown casino .. and why can't Star City put a little effort in? huh? HUH?



I don't this random fool but she kept wandering into my shot so I guess I just have to post her. Whoever and wherever you are I hate you! If the dragon was alive it'd eat you for being annoying.



Her arm is still in the goddamn shot. Even her arm annoys me. [Yes, I'm a leet graphic designer and no I didn't crop her. Shut up.]


Hey, the fish were cute.


So pretty, I think it's an upside down rabbit.

And then we went to Nobu. Nobu of the reputation Nobu. And as you can see fron Sb's face, he's like thats it? well .. he kinda deserved it for ordering stir fry from Nobu.



Its heaps dark in there. Mood lighting. Even the bathroom is dark, you can't even see where you're washing your hands.



That's his stirfry [It does look pretty]. I ordered wagyu beef but I ate some before I could take a photo [whoops] and the scallops with wasabi mayonnaise was divine, my mouth died and went to heaven and hasn't come back yet to normal food.



Errmm. Half eaten.



The tempura was standard though. But then I grew up on tempura I kind of think all tempura is standard. Eh. Well it was nothing special anyway.

And that was our nobu experience, there are no pictures of me cos it was too dark and I wasn't sitting under any lighting but trust me I looked great [ha]



And then we went to St Kilda and I really have nothing to say about it, except thats it? I was expecting a Manly/Glebe type atmosphere but there was nothing there. I was expecting bookstores and markets [it was the weekend] but it was just houses. All I can say is durn.
And also Luna Park was closed for renovations. Yeah, nothing.

So then we went back to the CBD, where for my birthday .. I decided to go to jail [what? what? it sounded interesting!]. What I was expecting from Old Melbourne Gaol was well .. not much, maybe a five minute walk. However, we got lined up with a policeman acting as a tour guide and fifteen other tourists. This policeman was exceptionally grouchy [or maybe he was playing grouchy] and he lined us all in row and started yelling at us! I was about to burst into giggles but I didn't think it was a good idea in case he pulled me out and started spanking me or something. Or something.

He particularly had it in for this old man and kept berating him, admittedly the old man was kind of stupid but by the end of it, the old man was REALLY REALLY pissed off, he was glowering at the policeman- lucky, he wasn't stupid enough to actually punch him out. Yes, he paid and we paid to get yelled at. [Well, he didn't yell at me mostly because I wasn't game enough to look him in the eye]



And then he locked us all in this cell. In the dark. For about ten minutes. It really wasn't the best idea for a birthday I had ever had. It really is as dingy as it looks. And don't worry those marks on the walls are not blood stains- they're water marks. [Because that makes me feel so much better]



And in the padded cell. There are "water marks" in there as well. Apparently some tourists
managed to lock themselves in there for four hours. Those were some smart tourists.



And the door to the padded cell, from the scuff marks I presume they didn't want to go IN.



Haha.. I should send it to his mum to freak her out.



Criminal! The lighting is just shoddy in this room. Yerk.






I guess if the physio thing doesn't work out, he can always be a blacksmith.



These are so cute. I was going to buy one, but I couldn't figure out which of my friends would want a Ned Kelly doll.



This was on wall in Chinatown, I don't know how many of us troublesome chinese actually listen to it! Of course it was situated right next to a restaurant called "Mao Please!" which was hysterical and ironic and tragic all at the same time.





It has things on the menu like Mao's spicy beef and Mao spicy chicken and uhh... Mao spicy lamb. You get the idea that Mao liked spicy things. However this proprietor must have greatly underestimated the cult of Mao in Australia because I headed straight for an Italian restaurant with white sauce and fish. Mm.. white sauce.





I'm thinking it tasted a thousand times better than Mao beef jerky.



Hee. In the middle of federation square there's a couple of flashing signs where you can sms your message of love/hate/indifference/wanting for a hamburger. And so we smsed it and the stupid thing never came up! But then there's an even larger tv on the other side and so we smsed that and whee!! fifteen seconds to say whatever the hell I wanted. To everyone! In federation square!
And by the fourth day I missed Minnie. So well there's an eternal declaration immortalised to my stupid barky sausage dog. Yes, I missed her.





Awwww.. I'm going to miss it. Bummer.

Mindless rambles for a Monday afternoon

I don't know why but I can hear someone yawning in the yard next door. They would have to be the world's loudest yawners. Who yawns that loud?

I finally have a day off and I'm bored, it's kind of ridiculous. Maybe I should trim my brows, they're starting to look like Ugly Betty brows. Crap.

I need a holiday. I just had a holiday. I'm hoping to hop it to America at the end of the year, maybe I'll turn up on my Grandma's doorstep. Hi! You used to send me toys but now I'm twenty five you have to buy me handbags. .. That could work [She lives in New York, I'm sure she's a bit of a handbag nut herself]. I could go to my aunty's place but she's one of those pro-right wing republican christian nutbags, she lives in Texas which could explain something. I wonder if she would have turned out so.... bonkers .. if she had of run away to Australia instead. Actually now that I think about it, she probably would have turned out more laidback if she had. Probably be less fervical. Well doesn't matter, theres a 0% chance I'm going to pop by Texas anyway.

Not that there's anything wrong with Texas.. I'm just not overly fond of steak.. or rednecks.. or having my aunty preach me. Nothing against the actual land.

Its 3:43 and my eyebrows are still in bad shape.

I'm thinking ..hungry. I accidentally ordered ducks feet for dinner last night. Sb looked at me and said 'You knew you were getting this right?'
Me: Of course, ducks feet... ducks feet... and mushrooms
We took it home, I'm not really game enough to try and re-eat it this afternoon. I'm hungry but not that hungry.

It was Mardi Gras on Friday, I remember last year with Mexicana trying to find her friends through a swamp of people. She was not pleased. Now that I think of it, I've never actually properly seen the parade its mostly trying to wade our way through Oxford street. So officially I can say I've been to Mardi Gras but I've never actually seen anything [other than drunk people] well I've seen the tops of some parades.

Lighto apparently tried to run down a guy on Oxford street because he was so sick of being stuck in traffic on Mardi Gras night. The guy was unharmed, I can't really say that Lighto was in a good mood about it though, ever since he's started dating that new girl his mood has been somewhat below curmudgeonly and bordering on ridiculously cranky. I'm supposed to be happy for him, new relationships and all that, but really I'm sort of starting to dislike her.. what is she doing to him? Its like a personality transplant. As far as I know he's never tried to run anybody over before.

Me and Sb went off to buy a garden gnome to take with me on my travels. However, [and this might have been somewhat obvious] there are no good-looking garden gnomes, and I'm not looking for a Calvin Klein model just one that doesn't look malnourished and slightly paedophillic. Where the hell am I supposed to find a happy healthy garden gnome? Don't say ebay , I've already looked and they look even worse than the ones in the stores [In my desperation I tried the two dollar store and they had gnomes, with the detachable rubber legs so that you can put them on shelves and dangles the legs over. Needless to say, I was horrified. Although what was I expecting from a two dollar store? Well not an amputee gnome]

Well I think that was enough mindless rambling for one day. How many people have I denigrated in one post? It looks to be two, a business and a state. Whoops. Look where the mind wanders. Hee. Running now.

There she goes

I hate writing emotionally, because I know that later on when I look back on it I'll see it as cliche and sentimental, but I guess I'm a mush[y] person ..

Lydia Shum aka Feifei died over the weekend and it makes me so sad because I grew up watching her and I feel awful for her daughter who is I bet feeling wretched. Why am I talking about this? You know my theory on circular parallels.

I was recovering on Saturday night [Friday was fantastic, I was happily smushed] and just laying on the couch when my stepdad called and said "something is wrong with your mum, she's dizzy and not remembering and not making sense" [haha, not alcohol induced. Thanks very much]

so I tried talking to her and she said "Why is my phone on this side of my ear? Who are you?" and then hung up on me. Naturally, I panicked, called back and started yelling for my stepdad to take her to the doctor. No dice, she wasn't willing [still stubborn for an amnesiac, I grant] and he wasn't able to leave the restaurant.

After awhile he reported back that she was better, but had blacked out for that three hours.

So when they turned up to my place last night and started discussing buying matching funeral plots [in the shade, lots of grass area] I was speechless. She then produced me a pamphlet on aneurysms.

She said to me "Look, you're old enough for me to let go. I'm very happy to have seen you grow up this far, so if anything happens.. well it happens, death happens". My stepdad didn't say anything, we were both concentrating on random spots in the carpet.

And there was the first possibility that ever occurred to me that my mum is not going to be around forever.

Long overdue photos and future plans

I know I complain that life is hard but I've had two holidays in the space of three months so far be it for me to complain I need another holiday [oh shuttup. You know I will. In about a week. At work.]

I was going to post up some Melbourne photoes so you could finally see the cow in the tree I've been gushing about for that many years, but I guess not since SB has run off with my camera. So I guess I'll post some photoes from Japan and talk about Melbourne later?

Yes I'm aware. Long overdue. Natch. Also am posting this from my new rental in the suburbs [which is nice but far, freaking far].
Also I've been on a month long oscar movie binge [please go see No Country for Old Men.. I beg you. And Juno. Sweeney Todd and There will be Blood are optional (however Daniel Day Lewis is amazing, but consider only seeing it for him) skip Atonement for Gods sake. Skip it].

also I'm seriously considering moving down to Melbourne and starting life anew, so who knows maybe I'll be gone in what? a month? two? I'm hoping people will see me as exceptionally talented and hire me. Fingers crossed. I uhhh.. haven't told my mum I'm thinking about this though, the reaction is somewhere between shrugging and locking me in my room til I'm eighty five.

Also I just turned twenty five so can I get a yee-hah? yee-hah

anyway I'll get down to business and post some photoes.


What Mexicana is trying to say is: Don't eat Wasabi cookies.


Biru! Seriously these two boys ordered biru with every meal except breakfast. Thats because alcohol there is crazy cheap and no RSA laws. So you can just wander around drunk most of the time [strangely there are not many drunks there though, not even me. Wahaha]


Look Mount Fuji! Yeah there was no chance I was climbing that. Not an iota. Short of dragging me up there and rolling me back down. Did you know there's a forest down the bottom where people go to top themselves? Must be so fun for the climbers to trip over dead bodies when they finish.





Isn't Shibuya so pretty? Its where they put all the Love Hotels. Unfortunately all the love hotels look like they were furnished by Ikea. So no hello kitty handcuffs for me. Boo.


Its a big bowl not a small hand.


Eeeeee! The prettiest building ever. Hello Ginza!


I love the random Hello Kitty in front of the convenience stores.


And Mexicana got sick of it apparently because she decided to eat Hello Kitty. Little did she know it was a pillow! MUAHAHA.

Hoo..righty and now my internet connection is not a happy camper so I think I might leave the rest of this til tomorrow [or the next day. or next week. or whenever I have time. Sheesh]