LA Noire. Ever so slightly boring.

• Team Bondi took seven years to make it- with over 100 creatives involved.
  
  
• They've mapped out the entire 1940's city of LA including hotels, landmarks, train tracks, suburbs..
  
  
• The graphics are without a doubt phenomenal (and you can run people over! It's awesome!)
  
  
• IGN has given it a rating of 8.5
  
  
• I've spent something like a year waiting for it to come out
  
  
• Plus paid 90 big ones to own a copy (at a time when I am not rolling around in disposable money)

And still the entire thing puts me to sleep faster than dropping a 40kg mallet on my head in a doorway. At first, I was afraid to say it out loud-because I had waited so long and paid so much money and it was clear that so much effort had been put into it - that voicing it would be kind of a sacrilege.

But here I said it first: LA Noire is boring. It's boring. It bores me to tears. Pretty graphics do not a game make. You actually have to have gameplay that involves more than walking around and waiting til the controller shakes. Hell even my beloved Mario steps on Goombas from time to time in the 64 version.

And yet I have to finish it. I have to finish it because I already spent 8 hours of my life trying not to doze through it [and according to reviewers.. it's 30 hours of gameplay so I only have.. 22 hours of not-dozing left] and I just keep hoping it gets better. Maybe something interesting will happen. Maybe some zombies will show up and eat Cole Phelps. That might be too much to ask.

Whatever. I'm going to get through to the end and then sell it on eBay lauding it as the best game I ever played. And then take the money I get from that and spend it on shoes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you haven't bought it and you're interested, I have a very high boredom threshold. You would probably misunderestimate the time I spend playing spider solitaire in my spare time. So if I think it's boring and you still decide to go ahead, don't say I didn't give you fair warning.

It really is a spectacular looking game though.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm going on about, don't worry it's nothing- Here's a picture of cakepops.