Psychic Drunk

I’m walking down the street with Sb when we pass a homeless man sitting in an alcove. He looks like Santa Claus on crack.

He’s very quiet as we pass twhen suddenly he waves his finger at me and bellows:

“You will be pregnant!”

I guess he knows something that I don't.

Prefering a rut

I think last year I felt that I was in a bit of a rut. And now that everythings been swept out from under me, I think I prefer the rut.

Firstly, SB and I are sortof/notreally/confusingtheholycrapoutofeverybody back together. But we're not but we're acting like we are, but there's no intimacy involved. Wait, are you perplexed yet? Because my mum is still trying to figure out whether she should give him dinner invites [and then she orders too much food thinking he'll be there]

Secondly, Mexicana is moving to Canberra to pursue her medical degree, which is fine. I mean I'm happy for her [free check ups, free bandaids, plenty of access to morphine.. whats not to be happy about?] but I'm a bit miserable about not one but two of my best friends are parked halfway across the world and not even within local calling range either. Blah.

Lastly, I've been evicted by a monstrous dickhead of a landlord and am going to a new place asap [well ok, Saturday.]

Can you tell I'm not feeling particularly stable??! Right now I feel like I'm floundering for a lifeline and people are throwing me skittles [tasty but not helpful]

I came back from Japan with anime disgust

Man I'm so mopey lately, well not really mopey.. I'm just sort of spaced out lately. I think I'm on book withdrawal, all I've been doing is playing my DS. Yeah, I don't think that sounds particularly healthy either, I'm making up for all the years that my stepbrothers wouldn't let me play on the gameboy [sigh, tetris]

Anyway, onto other things .. there are many things I'm scared of, roaches, heights, germs.. I'm a veritable -phobe. [If you'd like to destroy me put me on a cliff with some insects and a leper that likes to play tag, I'll guarantee that I'm a screaming mess by the time you retrieve me] anyway I seem to have brought back another fear from Japan, I'm slightly icked about by anime [ok, completely ooged]

Well when I was eleven? I thought that the big eyed small nose look was cool, I spent countless hours trying to recreate the look on paper. Of course when I was sixteen I watched Ghost in the Shell and I almost threw up when I saw the robot get ripped apart and veins and arteries start to spurt everywhere. I didn't really finish the movie. There starts my disenchantment with anime.

When I was twenty [and successfully fended off years of anime watching by sheer refusal] SB decided to watch this anime where the girls get raped by giant trees. Oog. Branches in vaginas. Who wants to be caressed by a penis which looks like a tree?! [Tree fairies? squirrels? botanists?]

And then Saffron decided on a night where we were both bored to show me a hentai where a woman was being tortured, they attached electric clamps to her ma-jiggy which simultaneously burned and climaxed her at the same time. Afterwards, in which she peed [I guess electrocuting yourself there will cause bladder loss, yes.]

I one day plan to sit Saffron down and explain to her why shows like that are unhealthy.

so back to Japan, the land of anime. I mean how bad can it be if I just stick to ordinary things like DragonBall and Hello Kitty? I'm sure I can avoid the really bizaare stuff if I just concentrate on.. shoes.. no such luck. The weird stuff is everywhere! In the toy stores, there'll be naked figurines with double J cups [create your own naked person!], or in the bookstores there'll be entire floors of gay comic porn. Which is fine, but apparently its aimed towards women. Apparently Japanese women like slash. I can't explain it. [This is the part where I write some pseudo theory about Japanese women being oppressed and manifesting it into slash comics where the 'feminine' have power. Shut up. Its a theory in progress]

So I'd be studiously avoiding and then something oogy would pop out at me [like posters of naked children in seductive poses]. Its FINE. I'll just walk into another aisle where Sgt Frogs head is exploding or something, I mean I'm not going to close my eyes, just because I find anime depressing and sexist.

And then we walked into the anime expo [thanks lonely planet.. for your crap advice], and I stood next to the life size version of these characters.. and I was just completely icked out by them [this never happens with Mickey Mouse!] they're just so out of proportion and plasticky and wrong looking that I was just gaping at them. Sb was impatient and said can you just pose next to them?! and I'm gingerly placing myself next to them and thinking this is someones fantasy? Uhh.. big eyes are pretty. Eyes the size of saucers are likely to have me gropiing for the door handle and fleeing into the night. Also if your breasts are bigger than your head [Wah! sexist! bugging. me.] theres not much chance you're going to do much than just sit on the floor with your head on the ground, because your neck has snapped off and you're paralysed.

So there we go, I officially have barred anime. I hate anime. Its creepy and sexist.



[Ok there are plenty of you who think this chick is hot. There are also plenty of you who have horse fetishes, so no judgment here]

Back and blue.. [or is that back in blue?]

Well I'm back from Japan and I've neglected this blog for an entire month. Writing skills have depleted to minus levels [and how am I going to write my novel on minus writing skills? I can't. Blah]

I'm feeling a bit blue and I think my ankle is infected which is making me worse. I don't know why I feel so lethargic lately, in trying to recreate that sense of 'happiness' I think it somehow buggered off. I should be happy, I've finally graduated, I'm working less.. my house is relatively clean and I'm not really under any pressure [I should start looking for a job soon though]

so WHATS WRONG?

I don't think I could be a hermit, it'd make me too depressed and also I'd probably start talking to random inanimate objects and spending far too much time on this blog [which ironically i haven't been doing].

Bleah. Did I mention I gave up alcohol for my new years resolution? That lasted all of FIVE days. Shut Up, I'm going to be good this year and not touch any more... it was a temporary lapse I'm sure. [ I didn't even get goodly smushed, it was a waste of a resolution breaking]

It might be the fabled quarter century crisis, I'm almost twenty five and I haven't achieved anything. Well achieve as in sold twenty five million copies of a book, started an internet company, or even find my goddamnned lip gloss from my purse [I can't find it- I have officially been without gloss for twelve days, I'm starting to look like a piece of parchment paper]

Hokai, I should get up and stop whining. Or I guess I could just go back to sleep [Hooray for 2008 pro-activeness! whee!]