October-November 2005

Dance like you never danced before
Thursday, November 24th 00:25 Mood:
Another first. My first dance lesson [well okay, no not really, I had ballet lessons when I was three]. Revelation time: I cannot dance, unless randomly flinging your hands and feet everywhere is considered dancing. I was mighty glad to be standing at the back! I was really hoping to be the next [clean] Britney Spears.

The luckiest
Thursday, November 17th 21:25 Mood: A crime-fighting-vampire-dog

M: Are you thirsty? Let's go out and buy juice!
SB: I'm not thirsty
M: I'm sure you are. Let's go.
SB: You go. How long will you take?
M: Half an hour
SB: Half an hour?! Are you just buying juice?!
M: Yes. Are you coming?
SB: Huh..
[SB and M shuffle off to the mall]
SB: They don't sell juice in Myer.
M: They don't? Oh this is just.. a ... quick detour...
SB: Admit it, you just wanted to go shopping
M: I'm sure they sell juice in this shoe store.. let me just check okay?

The first time..
Wednesday, November 9th 21:34 Mood: Strangely elated

Theres always a first time for everything, today was the first time that I fainted and not to be a melodramatic drama queen.. but it was kind of fun.

Amsterdam
Monday, November 7th 19:35 Mood: Allergic

"Come on, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
I swear I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole

But time is on your side
It's on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
It's no cause for concern."
-Coldplay, Amsterdam.

A wise man once told me...
Monday, November 7th, 00:02 Mood: Hammy

A wise man/boy once told me "If you look at Star City from an aerial view, you'll see that it resembles a cage. Its a feng shui thing, The idea is to lock the customers in symbolically so they don't come out"
I wonder if that extends to cocktailservers/waitresses. I can feel the casino sucking out a piece of my soul bit by bit, vampire style.

It's a bra day.
Thursday, November 3rd, 21:23 Mood: Mirthful

I walked into Grace Brothers today to purchase some new bra sets
[ I think someone is making off with them, buy your own underwear people!] and as I finished my purchase and was heading out to do some more good old fashioned shopping, when the buzzer sounded.
Mrmph!Mrmph!
Of course, I hadn't been shoplifting [look at my face! so open and innocent!] so I went back in and waited for a security guard to check me out, a nice saleslady trying to be helpful said "it's probably just the tags". Wait! I'm getting to the hilariously embarrassing bit! She then proceeded to take out each bra out of the bag and fling it past the scanners to see which one was tagged. Yes, the lady was waving my bras in the public entrance of Grace Brothers, to the befuddlement of shoppers walking by and to the increasing hilarity of myself. Finally she found the untagged item and turned to me sheepishly "Sorry about that". Nooooo problem.

These boots were made for walking
Thursday, October 27th, 21:48 Mood: Thats just what they'll do

I should be doing a happy dance to celebrate Coldplay in Melbourne, but instead I'm thinking about using my feet [no new shoes!] to kick SB's butt

...
Sunday, October 18th, 00:12 Mood:..
Wahahaha! Ok never mind, there was supposed to be a pic of a guinea pig with a leaf covering its nether regions. But for some reason it won't load.. so you'll just have to imagine the interesting image. [it has its legs spread]

Also me, a bit drunk. Bleh,.


Wanker 1 vs Wanker 2. Fight!
Thursday, October 13th, 15:13 Mood: So yesterday

Wanker 1:
Wanker 1[inebriated and slurry]
Me: umm... sir, I think you've had a little too much so I'm going to have to slow you down, I'm not going to bring you another one for a while.
Wanker 1: what?
Me: I have to slow you down. Its policy.
Wanker 1[getting a grasp on it]; Do you know what its like to be living your life under other peoples insecurities?
Me: errrrr.. I guess so.... :lightbulb flash: wait. what are you accusing me of??! are you saying I'm powertripping??
Wanker 1: I'm not saying you're power tripping I know you're powertripping.
Me: [mumbles] motherfuckerihopeyouchokeonyourtongueandwhileyou're
chokingihopeacarrunsyouoversothatthetongueispermamnently
embeddedinyoureardum.

Wanker 2:
Wanker 2:.A baileys on the rocks and a vodka and lime
Me: Here you go.
Wanker 2: This here is a baileys?
Me: Yes.
Wanker 2: This is thirty mls?
Me: Yes
Wanker 2: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I poured it, from a shot glass
Wanker 2: It doesn't look like it
Me: [starting to grind holes in my molars]
Wanker 2: Give me a shot glass.
Me: [disbelievingly gives him a shot glass]
Wanker 2 then proceeds to pour the entire cup into ths shotglass, spilling Baileys and ice all over the counter.
Wanker 2: Its right. [then pours it back into the glass and makes a bigger mess, halfheartedly dabbing with a tissue
...walks off]
Me: [going into trandescental meditation period, because otherwise I'll leap over the counter and use his face to wipe the floor, also am in dire need of a dentist appointment from grinding my teeth into dust]

Winner: Wanker 2, but geez it was almost too close to call.

Past, present and future.
Tuesday, 2nd Oct, 6:23 Mood: Contemplative

Lately Silly Boy and I have been fighting all the time. Its getting to the point where I don't want to do this anymore. I get enough shite from work.. do I really need it at home? It feels like four and a half years being poured down a drain, so for a while we're taking a break. I can see it as being something more permanent. Its too exhausting trying to keep the peace all the time. I love him but I need a rest. Maybe we're just not good for each other?

In other news, a supervisor from work, we'll call him Chilli guy is somewhat wooing me, well woo in the sense that he bought me a packet of Starburst [in return for a couple of minties] and asked for my number. He just seems ... so.. simple, he doesn't seem to be crushed under the burden of any problems, he's all sunniness and light [and devastatingly flirtatious. Warning. Mish].To be honest all I really do want is a happy face and reciprocal lollies. I dunno maybe I'll take him up on his offer one day. On the other hand, its a packet of lollies.. can I be bought anymore cheaply?? [answer:no]

And onto Sesame, who is yet to disappear from my life and completing this very interesting circle of past,present and [possibly] future men.What a karmic world we live in.